The Wolf and the Wind
by Limitbreaker
Summary: Shortly before Christmas 1998, no lesser person than Draco Malfoy appears on Remus Lupin's doorstep, having a rather surprising request: a peaceful family celebration involving his aunt and cousin as well. AU, slash, Remus/Draco, Draco/Roger Davies
1. The Biting Baby

Sometimes, Remus wished that he had died in the Battle of Hogwarts, too.

Most of the time, of course, he was grateful that he could see his son growing up, savouring every moment with Teddy and trying hard to replace his mother, but sometimes he was unable to cope with raising a child on his own and in these times he missed the woman in his life deeply. Even though Dora had nearly dropped Teddy several times she would have been a great mother. Remus had noticed that during the few days they had spent together with their son.

But now Dora was dead like everyone else in his life; Sirius, James, Lily and countless other names who had waited for him to join them for so many years now.

Teddy was too young to actually care or even realise that his mother was not there anymore, still being the cheerful child Remus loved to have around. It was thanks to Andromeda that Teddy learned what motherly love was like – although nobody could ever replace Nymphadora Tonks, not just in her motherliness but in all her uniqueness.

Months had passed and Remus still felt a stinging pain in his chest when he thought about her, actually being afraid that he someday would feel nothing more than numbness. It was not healthy to live in Dora's old room in Andromeda's house but Remus cherished the pain like he had cherished the love he received from her because it was one of the few things he had left from his wife.

Living with Andromeda was also the best thing for Teddy. Remus was able to work while Andromeda watched over Teddy, and the Galleons he brought back home were ensuring that Teddy had good prospects. He did not want his son wearing old, patched-up clothes when he would attend Hogwarts. But without the family fortune of Andromeda, Teddy would have no other choice and that was only one reason for Remus' bad conscience.

He felt like he was nothing more than a cadger.

Sighing, Remus examined the hole in the sock that was so tiny one could hardly imagine that a human foot should wear it. Teddy next to him chuckled, almost making Remus think he had to cope with a cheeky devil, and who knew, maybe Teddy had ruined his new socks on purpose. It was more likely that he could not yet handle his Metamorphmagus ability.

"Or you're growing too fast," Remus said and sat down on the couch in the living room. Teddy made a burbling noise before he started to slide over the carpet on his butt, circumnavigating the coffee table over and over again.

"Nobody will notice if I patch your sock, I guess… I can't afford to buy you new socks after we just bought all your winter clothes," Remus mumbled, not expecting to hear more than some undefined noises from his son. "But don't you tell that your grandmother, Teddy." He pulled out his wand and magically patched the sock. Teddy finished his fourth round around the table when Remus grabbed him and lifted him up on his lap, pulling the sock back over Teddy's foot.

"There you are. Now go back to your business, Teddy." Remus sat Teddy back to the ground and smiled as Teddy immediately went back to circling around the table, spurred on by Remus' encouraging applause whenever he finished a round. Remus was slightly worried that he would have trouble finding Teddy when he learned that he could be way faster when he used his feet.

There was a knock on the door. Remus did not expect anyone and as he did not hear another knock he thought he had just misheard the noise. Apparently, he still had a sharp ear because shortly afterwards the doorbell rang and made Teddy freeze before he started crying. The visitor kept ringing the doorbell.

"Coming!" Remus pulled Teddy into his arms and hurried to the door, opening it before he started to calmingly rub Teddy's back. The big tears that streamed over the red baby face shocked the visitor nearly as much as Remus was by the sight of Draco Malfoy standing in his doorframe. "Draco…" Remus was able to ignore Teddy's screams while Draco stepped backwards and stared at the baby like he never saw one before. "What a plea… uhm, what a surprise."

Draco swung his gaze back to Remus, apparently not able to focus his attention on both Teddy and Remus. "Hello," he said, looking back at Teddy and listening to the sobs. "Did I…"

"Oh, Teddy has his own little war with the bell," Remus said, smiling. "He'll stop in a second. Won't you come in and wait? The wind is too cold for Teddy."

Draco nodded choppily and stepped in before Remus could motion him to do so. Closing the door behind his former student, Remus rocked Teddy slightly and muttered comforting words to his son. Draco had found the way into the living room on his own and sat in the armchair near the fireplace, waiting for Remus to enter the room. He did not seem too happy with the sight of Teddy, who had buried his face in Remus' robe after he had stopped crying.

"So, this is your son?" Draco asked but he did not even glance at Teddy anymore, examining his environment instead, not seeming too fond of it.

"Yes, this is Teddy," Remus said proudly, sitting down onto the couch and continuing to rock Teddy back and forth. "Did you come to visit your cousin?"

Draco looked at him, seeming disgusted for a moment but forcing himself to smile. "Well, something similar," he said, leastwise being honest. "Is my aunt at home?"

"Andromeda is shopping," Remus replied. "She'll be back any second. May I offer you tea?"

Draco nodded, gesturing at Remus like he was his house-elf. Shaking his head disapprovingly, Remus sat Teddy back on the carpet and stood up. Teddy turned around to look at his unknown cousin out of his big eyes but did not receive a look in return. Draco rather focused his gaze on the pictures on the chimneypiece, not showing the slightest interest in Teddy, who seemed to be mesmerised by the white-blond hair. Remus tried not so smile as he watched the colour in Teddy's hair slowly vanishing.

Wondering what Draco Malfoy might want from Andromeda, Remus walked into the kitchen. After the War, the Malfoys had not been sent to Azkaban – except Lucius Malfoy, but that was more because of his former escape and the remaining prison sentence. Draco's father was not imprisoned for long, so maybe that was why he was here to talk to Andromeda. Although Remus doubted that Andromeda would join a welcoming party for Lucius Malfoy.

Remus nearly dropped the tray with the cups of tea as he walked back into the living room and found Draco with his knees pulled to his chest, so that he could bring his feet in safety before Teddy touched them. Still, Teddy's fingertips brushed the toe of Draco's right shoe.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked, before biting hard on his lip to prevent himself from laughing at the pale faced wizard, who actually seemed to be scared by Teddy.

"Would you just take that thing away from me?" Draco hissed, scowling at Remus who took his time to place the tray on the coffee table before he lifted Teddy off the ground.

"You don't need to be afraid. He only bites when you put your finger in his mouth," Remus said, amused and barely able to hide the quirk of his lips.

"I am i_not_/i afraid," Draco huffed. "I can see that you're smiling, Lupin. Stop that. Not everybody is as fond of children as you are."

Remus raised a hand in defence after letting Teddy down. His son promptly crawled back to Draco, snuggling to his leg like a cat. This sight plus Draco's expression made Remus laugh harder than he had in months.

Draco snorted, eventually accepting Teddy's cheek rubbing over his calf while trying to ignore it, but Remus could not ignore how endearingly adorable that picture looked. He wished he could take a photo of them.

"So, what do you want from Andromeda?" Remus asked as he calmed down, tears of laughter still prickling in his eyes he handed out a cup of tea to Draco.

Clearing his throat, Draco said: "Christmas is almost here. I'd really like to see Andromeda…" He paused, eyes darting down to Teddy. "I'd really like to see the three of you joining us. A family event."

Remus frowned at him. "Oh, well… That comes rather unexpectedly."

Draco sipped his tea, making it quite obvious that he did not intend to say anything more.

"Actually…" Remus scratched the back of his head. "We thought about celebrating with the Weasleys. Harry will be there and he's Teddy's godfather."

"Well, you have other plans now," Draco said, licking his lips and continuing in a conversational tone: "This is better than I thought. A little sugary, maybe…"

Remus opened his mouth to respond when he heard the door. "You should probably just ask Andromeda herself."

Draco's cold grey eyes seemed to pierce Remus. "Are you going to deny that your son – my cousin – has already grown fond of me? I bet he would love to sit on my lap when he gets a present that is bigger than him." He put his cup on the table, turning to face Andromeda. "Hello."

"Oh…" Unwrapping her scarf from her throat, Andromeda looked back and forth between them before she focused on Remus. "Did you let him in?"

"No, Ted let me in," Draco interrupted sarcastically. "Nice to see you again, too, Aunt Andromeda. It's been a few months."

"What do you want, Draco?" Andromeda asked with a sigh. She raised her eyebrows as she noticed Teddy clinging to her nephew's leg, but did not say anything which did not keep Draco from blushing slightly.

"Inviting you and my cousin for Christmas," Draco said, reaching out a hand and gulping hard before he touched the shock of pale-blond hair Teddy had finally achieved. Teddy smiled widely as Draco patted his head clumsily. "And Lu– I mean, Remus, of course."

"For Christmas?" Andromeda sat down next to Remus, warily eyeing him. "Was that your idea, Remus? I already told you that I am not interested in a family reunion. You can take Teddy to the Weasleys, although I don't want to go there. He's your son. You don't need to punish me for refusing a great celebration with lots of redheads. All I get from that is a headache… And anyway, isn't Harry still in Australia searching for these Muggles?"

"Hermione's parents, yes. But… Uhm…" Remus smiled and nodded, ignoring Andromeda's annoyed snort and shifting his gaze to Draco who looked ostensibly calm and amicable at Teddy. "You know, I think it's a nice idea, especially if the Weasleys are too loud for you. We could strengthen the family –"

Andromeda cut him short: "I don't want to strengthen the family ties!"

"It seems Teddy wants to," Remus said cautiously. "Don't disappoint him, Andromeda."

"You think he'll be disappointed?" Andromeda shook her head, the brown hair slightly wet from the melting snow. "I think that he'll forget about Draco as fast as he forgot about his stuffed duck that is now lying in the corner." She pointed at said stuffed animal that used to be Teddy's favourite.

Remus rubbed his temple. "Well, like you said, he's my son, and I want him to stay in contact with his cousin." Not that he had really thought about Draco Malfoy as his son's cousin before today, but he did not want to make it even harder for Draco. Maybe he just wanted a second chance and everybody deserved one, so Remus would never reject him.

Draco was eighteen and the War had changed him, too. He looked more mature and still a little too thin, but although he had not regained all the weight he probably lost during the War, he was still a handsome young man. And above all Remus had not forgotten that Draco had the potential to be a great man and Remus already felt the teacher in him coming out of hibernation.

Andromeda sighed. "Well, if you think that it's a good idea. But I won't let you go there alone. With or without Lucius, Malfoys are –"

"Owie! He bit me!" Draco stared in shock at Teddy while rubbing his index finger frantically.

Remus laughed, receiving a puzzled look from Andromeda and a scowl from Draco. "I told you not to put your finger into his mouth."

"I didn't put anything in there. He just bit me!" Draco stood up and backed away from Teddy, who chuckled gurgling. "I hope it hurt to get those murder weapons, Ted." Although this dramatic comment made even Andromeda smile slightly, Draco seemed embarrassed when he noticed that he had talked to a baby. Smoothing his robes, he turned around and already wore a blank expression again. "So, I expect you on Christmas for dinner." He nodded at his aunt. "Andromeda." Then looked to Teddy. "Ted."

Remus stood up smiling. "I'll see you to the door," he said and placed a hand on Draco's shoulder, regretting his gesture as Draco flinched away.

Draco carried it off very well, nodding but increasing the distance from Remus as he followed him out of the living room.

"It was a rather pleasant surprise to see you again, Draco," Remus said as he opened the door.

"Yes. I'm looking forward to welcoming you to my house." Draco did not sound like he was truthful about it. He took Remus' outstretched hand and shook it, not exerting much pressure. "Have a nice day, Remus." Turning on the spot, Draco stepped out and Disapparated as soon as he had closed the garden gate behind him.


	2. Family Festivity

Malfoy Manor was hidden beneath a thick layer of snow, and although the white flakes had covered the whole garden, the peacocks were still wandering around outside. Remus yelped when one splendid bird poked him right in the thigh. The white feathers were the reason why Remus had not noticed the peacock sneaking up on him, probably trained by Draco to take revenge for Teddy biting him.

Teddy seemed to find it funny that his father backed away from a big bird, and even Andromeda had trouble suppressing her laughter. "It seems that they aren't very fond of you being dressed like a vagrant, Remus."

"Oh, if you keep talking like that, I'm pretty sure Narcissa and Draco won't invite you again, Andromeda," Remus replied, waving dismissively at the peacock, which strutted away to join the other beasts at the frozen fountain, looking more like sculptures than real animals.

Andromeda looked rather uncomfortable so Remus nearly regretted his comment, and as they slowly came closer to the front doors of Malfoy Manor she only looked paler. But before Remus could ask if she rather wanted to leave again Andromeda quickened her pace and rushed to the door, knocking forcefully against it.

Remus just made it to the door when Draco opened it personally. Teddy's pram bumped straight into Draco's leg as he made an unforeseeable step out of the door. Draco whimpered, his teeth clamping down into his bottom lip to suppress any painful noises.

"This is why house-elves normally open the doors," Andromeda said. "Malfoys aren't even capable of the basics."

Draco narrowed his eyes, also hiding the tears that glittered on the grey irises. "Find a house-elf that wants to work in a place where one of them got killed and I will ignore that inappropriate comment, Aunt Andromeda. Otherwise you're welcome to come in if you entrust your cloaks to me instead a house-elf." He hastily stepped out of the way as Andromeda elbowed Remus cut to push Teddy's pram inside the house, apparently using it as some sort of protection against her nephew.

"You take care of this huge house all by yourself then?" Remus asked, watching Draco catching Andromeda's cloak with a sigh.

"No, I wanted to be polite and welcome you personally. Is that so surreal?" Draco rolled his eyes, taking Remus' cloak and turning on the spot to open a door. "But most of our house-elves are gone. Don't know what's wrong with the little creatures these days. They're talking like they just read Montesquieu's i_The Spirit of the Laws_/i." He scowled down at the small creature that sat in the walk-in cupboard, ripped the book out off its hands and exchanged it with the cloaks. Eyes focused on the book, Draco turned back to Remus, shaking his head. "Didn't even know that they i_could_/i read…"

Remus took the book Draco handed to him, feeling a little lost in the huge room they entered. It took him a while to bring his eyes to focus on the blond witch that hugged Andromeda reservedly. Narcissa Malfoy looked paler than usual and a little sick, seeming almost like she would break if one touched her. Remus tried not to shake her hand too hard as Narcissa turned to him with a weak smile on her lips. Apparently, she was not doing well without her husband and that was more than likely the reason why Draco had wanted her sister to spend at least Christmas with her.

"So, this is little Teddy?" Narcissa bent over the pram, reaching out a hand to pat Teddy's head. Remus just opened his mouth to respond as Narcissa flinched away, eyes widening in shock. "Oh, he's a Metamorphmagus, yes? Draco didn't tell me that. He was too busy complaining that his finger hurt after Teddy bit him."

Remus was just relieved that Teddy had not bitten Narcissa. With a huge sigh he drummed his fingers against the book he was still holding because he was unsure what to do with it.

"Mother…" Draco's face went slightly pink. "I didn't –"

"Oh, I can absolutely picture that scene," Andromeda interfered, highly amused. "You should've seen him acting with Teddy. Completely overchallenged."

"Well, that is why I don't have children," Draco replied, watching his mother pinching Teddy's cheek. The right corner of his mouth twitched slightly up but a real smile never came. Clearing his throat, Draco pointed towards the table next to the colossal Christmas tree. "Tea, Remus?"

Narcissa and Andromeda were slowly converging over Teddy, so Remus nodded and took the seat next to Draco, who passed Remus his tea and without another word the sugar. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Draco looked up and focused his gaze on one of the floating candles, while Remus examined the gorgeously decorated Christmas tree. They sat in silence for a while, Remus feeling more uncomfortable with each second. The more the ice between Narcissa and Andromeda seemed to melt, the thicker became the ice-sheet between him and Draco.

"This is a very beautiful tree, Draco," Remus said to break the silence. "Did you –"

"The house-elves," Draco explained, drowning every attempt of a conversation before Remus could even finish his sentence. Remus smiled unnoticeable and shifted his gaze towards the candle Draco found so interesting to offer it his whole attention. With a sigh he put the i_The Spirit of the Laws_/i onto the table and turned to his cup. Sipping his tea, Remus thought about a topic Draco might find worthy to discuss with him, because he did not want to sit here in silence while Andromeda showed Teddy off to her sister.

"So, what are you doing now, Draco?" Remus asked, putting his cup down and folded his hands on the table.

"Ogling candles," Draco answered dryly.

Remus did not know whether he should laugh or be annoyed. It was more than clear that Draco did this just to cheer his mother up a little – but it also made Andromeda look happier and this reinforced Remus decision to at least keep his smile.

"It's been such a long time since we met and you still don't want to talk to me…" Remus sighed, just looking down on his tea as Draco glanced at him.

"We talked a couple of days ago," Draco said coldly. Remus rolled his eyes, catching the glimpse of a smile playing on Draco's lips out of the corner of his eyes. "Back at Hogwarts I didn't want to talk to you because you were an annoying teacher." He cleared his throat before continuing in a voice that was supposed to be a bad imitation of Remus'. "Oh, Mr. Malfoy, you are highly intelligent. Why don't you use your potential?" Draco snorted. "Well, we all know now that I've misused my potential."

This was going in the wrong direction. "You're young, Draco. There are so many things you can do with your life," Remus said. "Any plans?"

Draco shrugged. "Trying not to get killed during the next months."

Sighing heavily, Remus unfolded his hands and patted Draco's shoulder. Apparently, he should not have done that because Draco looked as though he wanted to jump away like a timid fawn. Still, Remus did not take his hand away, rubbing Draco's shoulder and forcing the grey eyes to widen slightly.

"Okay, stop that." Draco shrugged Remus' hand off. "We don't want to talk about what happened in the last months. The next year will be better."

"So, you do have plans for the future?" Remus was glad that Draco did not want to deepen the War topic, either. It had been hard enough to convince Andromeda to visit the Malfoys, because she constantly found new reasons why they were disgusting people – and now she seemed happy that she could talk to Narcissa face to face again.

"What do you mean… future?" Draco frowned at him like Remus had asked him a very complicated question. "I don't need to work. We're still rich."

"Did you tell Professor Snape the same in your Career Advice session?" Remus' smile disappeared as Draco gulped hard, face pale as the snow that lay on the windowsill.

"Don't talk about Severus," Draco said, reaching for his cup of tea and taking a large sip. Draco clenched his jaw and blinked hastily, apparently trying to suppress tears filling his eyes. Reaching out a hand, Remus grabbed Draco's shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"I'm sorry," he said, sighing as Draco shrugged his hand off once again. "I didn't mean to –"

"Don't," Draco interrupted hoarsely. He cleared his throat and turned to look at Remus, forcing himself to smile. "I have something for Ted. Under the tree…"

Remus was surprised to see Draco so excited – well, excited behind his usually frosty façade. There was a barely visible spark in his cold grey eyes, and although his expression seemed rather bored Remus noticed that Draco fidgeted slightly on his seat. Turning around, Remus took the big present at which Draco had pointed.

"Oh, it's too big, Draco. I can't possibly take this," Remus said, shocked at the huge package that was way too heavy for him, so he put it back to the ground.

"Well, but it's for Ted anyway," Draco said. "Had I known that he eats you out of house and home I would've bought you a new shirt." He placed his hand on Remus' shoulder, tugging at a loose thread and chuckling softly as Remus cowered in embarrassment. "And… what have you done there?" Draco moved his hand to Remus' thigh and poked at the hole in the side of his trousers.

It was only the tip of Draco's index finger that touched Remus' bare flesh, but that brush of ice-cold skin against his own was enough to make Remus flinch away. A flame of sensation burned the touch deep into his skin, sending goose bumps over his whole body and leaving Remus tied up in knots. Draco did not notice the reaction he had triggered and quirked his head questioningly.

"The… peacock bit me," Remus said, his voice hoarser than usual.

Draco smirked. "Good bird. Taking revenge for its master," he said, proudly raising his chin. His smirk turned more into a smile as Remus chuckled. "I didn't…"

"Draco, where is that gift for Teddy?" Narcissa cut Draco off and did not even wait for an answer because she noticed the present, before Draco could do more than glance at his mother. "Ah, there it is… Very well. Are you already hungry?"

"No, Mother," Draco said. "Just go ahead and amuse yourself." The smile Draco gifted his mother took Remus' breath away. He had never seen the boy smile in this heart-warming way and not in amusement because of other people's misery or shame. It looked foreign on Draco's arrogant face, and his sped up heartbeat felt foreign to Remus.

"What is it?" Draco asked when he noticed Remus' stare. Frowning, Draco wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and with that the smile away. "Do I have something there?"

"Not anymore," Remus said, feeling like he had just seen the rarest thing in the world and wanting to cherish that somehow.

Draco took a napkin. "Aunt Andromeda doesn't seem too annoyed anymore. I thought she wouldn't be so nice to Mother after everything that happened between them." He dabbed the napkin against his mouth, wiping over the corners before he licked his dry lips.

Remus swung his gaze to Andromeda and Narcissa, smiling as he watched Teddy playing with the ribbon of the present. "Your mother really tries to be nice, too."

Draco sighed. "She isn't herself at the moment. I was really…" He shook his head and flushed slightly. "There are a lot of people who understandably don't like us. Mother can hardly cope with this while Father isn't here, but sometimes I think it's the house that makes her suffer like this. Sometimes it's like you can still feel the Dark Lord's presence."

"Why don't you search another place to live?" Remus asked.

"The Malfoy estate belonged to us forever," Draco snorted. "Leaving the place where my father, grandfather and even the famous Brutus Malfoy grew up would be like marrying a Mu… Muggle-born." Draco looked away when Remus raised his eyebrows sceptically.

"And what about inviting a werewolf to your beloved home?" Remus received an angry glare from Draco.

"Fenrir Greyback stole my dessert several times, Lupin. I don't think you would do that," he said, reaching for the tea kettle and re-filling Remus' cup. "Which brings us to my next question."

Remus grabbed the cup of tea and stared into it until Draco cleared his throat. Realising it was quite rude to avoid Draco's eyes when the boy wanted to ask him a question, Remus looked up and waved at Draco to continue.

"Would you mind moving in with us?" Draco asked and again he fidgeted on his chair, but this time because he was nervous and not excited.

Remus blurted on his tea. "You… what?"

Draco took a deep breath. "I would bear all the costs, of course, also for Ted. And you could work full-time because my mother and I don't leave the house very often at the moment. It'll also be easier for Aunt Andromeda, who has quite dark circles under her eyes if you haven't noticed. The family fortune is more than enough to raise five biting babies."

Remus opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, finding no words to express his thoughts. Draco's grey eyes made him feel like he was looking into a mirror and he did not want to see the old man with the grey hair whose circles under his eyes could always beat Andromeda's.

"I spoke to someone at Gringotts and know that you'll run out of money soon," Draco said as Remus did not say a single word.

"Oh, do you?" Remus raised a hand to rub his temples. "That's private."

Draco smirked. "I still have connections."

Remus sighed. "If you want someone to distract your mother, precisely Andromeda, then say that and I'll discuss the topic with her, but don't use my money problems as an excuse, Draco." He smiled to soften his words up, not wanting Draco to feel embarrassed. It must have cost him a lot to ask this of Remus Lupin, his least favourite teacher ever.

"So…" Draco tried not to show how uncomfortable he felt right now. "You'll think about it?"

Remus took in the sight of Narcissa sitting in an armchair and tickling Teddy while Andromeda laughed full-heartily. The scene was pure harmony, so that Remus could not understand the icy fingers that grabbed his heart and tried to rip it out off his chest. Tears prickled in his eyes as he realised what – or rather who – was missing.

This was his first Christmas with Teddy and without Tonks… and he was spending it with the Malfoys. Tonks would have probably laughed loudly because of that. Remus missed her laughter, still hearing it echoing in his head when he closed his eyes.

"I'll think about it," Remus said and stood up. "But I would prefer not being blackmailed into living with you, Draco." He winked at Draco, who blushed slightly.

"All right," Draco said and nodded. "I don't blackmail you and you won't make me beg again."

"Was this your way of begging?" Remus asked surprised. "You're really not used to doing that."

Draco scowled at him. "Go and play with your biting baby," he ordered, narrowing his eyes slightly. His quirked mouth still showed his amusement although he folded his arms in front of his chest almost protectively, turning his head so that he could stare out of the window, while Remus went to join his son, who apparently liked the ribbon more than his actual present.

Remus looked over his shoulder and met Draco's gaze for a moment. Andromeda would kill him if he told her about Draco's proposal, but somehow he just could not even think about saying 'No' to his former student – although he probably should.


	3. Banking Business

Diagon Alley was not a safe place at the moment. The snow on the street was tramped down and underneath the white blanket was a thick layer of ice hidden, which made it hard to walk on – especially with a pram that used to just roll on whenever Remus stopped and took his hands away. Still, everything was better than the picture of Diagon Alley last winter, damaged from war.

"You must have lost your mind, Remus. It's the lack of sleep, isn't it?" Andromeda embraced herself because of the cold, rubbing her thin arms warm whenever the harsh wind made her shiver even though she was wearing several layers of clothes.

"I don't think he means anything bad by it, Andromeda," Remus replied. Christmas was over but there was still a singing Christmas tree in front of the Magical Menagerie.

"I think he does!" Andromeda did not seem impressed by Remus' censorious look. "Don't forget that you're talking about Draco _Malfoy_. The last thing on earth he wants is just strengthening the family ties again. There must be something more behind it."

"That sounds a little paranoid," Remus said with a deep sigh, stopping for a moment because Teddy enjoyed the singing Christmas tree so much. "Don't tell me you didn't amuse yourself with your sister."

Andromeda huffed, creating a little cloudlet of breath. "That's something completely different, Remus. Seeing her for Christmas is okay, but I can't pretend that nothing happened and just move in with her. Don't you think that this isn't just Draco's plan to better his reputation again? You're a war hero after all."

Hero might have been too much of a good thing to say, but Remus could not deny that he had thought in this direction, too. "But that alone wouldn't help him. I think that he's just worried about his mother. You've seen her. She's certainly seen better days," Remus said and continued to walk forward, ignoring Teddy's soft sob when he could not hear the Christmas tree finish his refrain. "And Draco, too."

"Really? He looked just like the spoilt child I'd imagined," Andromeda answered frigidly. "Narcissa used to even spoil her pets. You should've seen her cat. It wore ribbons and was incredibly potbellied, but always combed perfectly. Just like Draco."

"Draco looked rather thin… and I don't think he would be fond of ribbons in his hair," Remus said and stumbled to the side as Andromeda elbowed him for this comment.

"I won't live in that house," she said, determined.

"It's your decision." Remus did not like using such Slytherin methods but Andromeda left him with no other option than blackmailing her in a subtle way: "But Teddy and I will give it a go."

Andromeda stopped abruptly, but Remus went straight on, just stopping when he heard Andromeda's snort. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at her as she caught up to him, looking amusingly furious.

"You cannot do this, Remus!" she exclaimed, gesturing wildly. "Remus, you can't take Teddy away from me. He's everything I have!"

"He's not. You still have your sister, Andromeda. And your nephew. Draco was asking for help in his very own way. You shouldn't refuse him," Remus said in a steady voice.

"But…" Andromeda trailed off. "After everything they did to me?"

"Do you want to become the textbook example of your family by acting exactly same way?" Remus noticed Andromeda rolling her eyes and nudged her gently with his elbow. "You can show them that you're better than –"

"Oh, Remus, stop talking like that. I've heard this countless times," Andromeda interrupted slightly annoyed. "It's such a hackneyed phrase. Well, well… Okay, I won't make the same mistakes as my family, but moving in with them straightaway? Isn't that a bit early?"

"You sound like I wanted to move in with my new lover," Remus said and as soon as the words had left his lips Andromeda burst into scornful laughter. "Thank you, Andromeda. I'm glad that I can amuse you."

"Just… the image of you and my sister really is highly amusing," Andromeda said, lips still curled into a sneer. "Not as good as the image of you and Draco, of course. That's also absolutely absurd."

Remus shrugged. "I'm not interested anyway," he said but the corners of Andromeda's mouth did not lower.

"And why are you so eager to live with them, then?" Andromeda asked, reminding Remus of Sirius with that ambiguous undertone that was close to making him blush. "Oh, and now your face is all red!" Obviously, it had made him blush. "You keep in mind that Cissa is married, Remus, do you? And that Draco is way too young for you. But well, we already know that you're interested in young, not wrinkled faces."

"Andromeda, please stop this," Remus said in a low voice. "I'm not interested in something like a relationship and if you don't stop talking about it I won't be able to look Draco in the face again."

Andromeda stilled for a moment, then blurted out: "So, why didn't you mention Narcissa?"

Remus frowned and shrugged his shoulders again.

"Don't tell me that you decided to never touch a woman again after my daughter, and now you are into boys – of course, they still have to be young and innocent like you prefer them, perverted teacher." Andromeda raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms in front of her chest, apparently waiting for an answer but Remus just shook his head. "You know, it's been quite a while now… It would be okay with me if you want to… move on… Do you know what I mean?"

"I think I don't," Remus mumbled. "And I don't want to."

"Well, but seriously… Don't you think Teddy deserves a mother?" Andromeda said, throwing a knife right in Remus' chest.

"He _has_ a mother and a female reference person. What does he need more?" Remus said coldly, turning towards the Apothecary but stopping as soon as he noticed the shock of white-blond hair leaving the shop.

"Speaking of the devil…" Andromeda tugged on Remus' sleeve. "Do we say 'Hello'?"

"Have we finished discussing the moving topic?" Remus asked and sighed in relief as Andromeda nodded. "Then we say more than 'Hello' to him." Remus wanted to make a step ahead but Andromeda held him back as a black-haired man followed Draco out of the Apothecary, slamming the door shut behind him and grabbing Draco's arm. It looked like they were engaged in their heated argument for quite a while and the way Draco clung to his bag for dear life alarmed Remus.

"I think this is why he's not leaving the house very often," Andromeda muttered. "Do you still think it's a good idea to move in with the Malfoys? You worked hard to be accepted in the wizarding community and this could destroy everything, Remus… Remus?" Andromeda huffed as Remus did not even listen to her, already hurrying towards Draco.

"Excuse me, but is something wrong here?" Remus grabbed the shoulder of the taller man, who had placed himself directly in front of Draco.

"Who the…? Professor Lupin?" Apparently, another ex-student, but Remus did not recognise him.

Draco stepped beside the man. "Aunt Andromeda, Remus, what a surprise." He waved at them before turning to Teddy. "Hello there…" He made a move to touch Teddy, but backed away and gifted Remus a crooked smile. "He still bites, doesn't he?"

"He does," Remus said, tugging the pram away as the dark-haired man bent down to Teddy. Blue eyes flashed him such an innocent look that Remus felt a wolfish growl crawling up in his throat, ready to make anyone, who dared to scream at Draco, back away.

"Oh, that's Roger," Draco said, pointing at the man who raised a hand to greet, showing a friendly smile – Remus did not like it. The longer he was confronted with that smile the more he thought about it as plastic and emetic. "Roger Davies. He's responsible for a part of my money at Gringotts." And Roger Davies was not a good employee, because he most likely gave Draco information about other costumers – more precisely Remus. Maybe he should tell that to Bill, who would go to the goblins and that would be the end of Roger's smile. But on the other hand, Draco was a Slytherin and who knew how he got his information about Remus' money problems, which were, to be honest, not a secret at all.

Roger offered him a hand, which Remus ignored and Roger ran it instead through his black hair. "Nice to meet you again, Professor Lupin," Roger said, his smile slowly disappearing as Remus' expression stayed unfriendly. "You do remember me, right? I was in your class at Hogwarts in my fifth year. Ravenclaw."

"I can barely remember all of my students," Remus said unemotionally. "We saw you arguing. Is everything okay, Draco?"

Draco looked puzzled but opened his mouth, obviously not fast enough because Roger answered for him. "It's nothing. Just banking business."

"Shouldn't you discuss such topics somewhere more private?" Andromeda interfered with a smile.

Roger blinked at her. "And you are…?"

"Draco's aunt." Andromeda crossed her arms just as Roger reached out a hand to shake hers. "And it looked a little too heated for banking business to me. Would you please refrain from yelling at my nephew in front of the whole wizarding community?"

"I didn't –" Roger raised his hands in defence but Draco cut him short:

"His temper got the better of him. That's because he's running out of time for lunch break," Draco said and Roger looked on his watch.

"Oh, Merlin's pants! I have to go. Those nasty goblins make you take care of the dragon dung in the vaults if you're late," he said hastily, waving goodbye because he probably remembered that nobody wanted to shake his hand. "Draco, don't forget our date." Not even waiting for Draco's answer, Roger turned on the spot and hurried towards the huge white building that was barely visible because of all the snow.

"Date?" Remus growled.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Appointment. Nobody wants to have dates with me these days – not even boys," he said, displeased. "What was this about? You two were making quite a scene. Poor Roger's going to cry because of your obvious dislike."

"We thought he wanted to hurt you!" Andromeda blurted. Draco looked startled.

"Yes, you said often enough how people treat you these days," Remus said, still a little confused how protective he had felt. The last time the wolf inside him had made him growl was when George had tried to give Teddy Puking Pastilles. And Teddy was still vomiting often enough on his own.

"And they do! You should've come as those children threw their snowballs at me a few minutes ago," Draco said, pouting slightly. "I'm sure there were huge pebbles inside…"

"So, what's so important about banking business that he nearly breaks your arm?" Remus wanted to know.

Draco raised his chin slightly but was still not able to look down at Remus, who was several inches taller. "My money is none of your business."

"Well, but it would be, because I'm not living in a house that you cannot afford," Andromeda said harshly before Remus could do something similar. Therefore he could mutter a disapproving "Andromeda" and gift Draco a small smile.

"So, you thought about it?" Draco licked his lips, which seemed a little rosier than usual and now they were shining like he wore lip gloss. Remus' eyes were trained on Draco's mouth and he tried hard just to think about if it was the Malfoy blood that made his lips look so soft or if he used something else to keep them from getting chapped.

"And we might rethink it if you're broke," Andromeda said, perfectly covering that this corrugation on her forehead was her worry line. Draco was too proud to announce loudly if someone hurt him – verbally or physically. Well, except if he could use it for his advantage, and apparently he could not because otherwise he would now be busy complaining about how much his arm hurt and that with false tears glittering in his eyes. Evidently, Roger meant something to him and that made Remus feel sick, somehow.

Laughing softly, Draco ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not broke. We will i_never_/i be broke, Andromeda. Not even I can spend so much money." He blinked in surprise as Teddy chuckled. "Well, well, Ted knows exactly when it is the right time to laugh." Draco reached into his bag and pulled out a lolly, holding it out to Teddy. "Oh, is… is he allowed to eat these things? It's sugar-free." Teddy stretched desperately to reach the lolly and made some noises that sounded like someone strangled him.

"I think it's okay," Andromeda said, took the lolly and ducked down to Teddy, while Remus searched Draco's eyes.

"You went into the Apothecary just to buy lollies?" he asked and was able to throw a short look at the bag before Draco hid it behind his back.

"Well, no. They were for free, so I didn't say 'No'." Draco shrugged, smirking.

Remus frowned at him, searching for a hint of an illness. "Are you sick?" Draco shook his head. "So, Narcissa is –"

"I'm sorry, but I really have to go now," Draco said abruptly, shook Remus' hand and waved at Andromeda. "We'll discuss the move at another time. I'll owl you." He winked at Teddy, who suddenly forgot about his lolly and reached for Draco, who already was about to leave. The sniffling noises held him back and Draco took all his courage in both hands to lean down and ruffle Teddy's hair. "Didn't bite me. We're making progress," Draco said with a last smile, before turning around and walking away.

Andromeda straightened. "What do you think was in that bag?"

"What do you think is the synonym for banking business?" Remus cleared his throat as he received a puzzled look from Andromeda. "I'm sure he's fine. Probably just protection if he'll catch a cold…"

"Yes, sure." Andromeda rolled her eyes. "And date means appointment."

Remus tried hard to ignore the sarcasm.


	4. Cautious Crush

"I knew that Andromeda couldn't resist my offer forever," Draco said for what felt like the hundredth time.

Remus was surprised how eagerly Draco helped him unpack his things and he wondered if Narcissa was doing the same with Andromeda. But he doubted that Andromeda could bear such behaviour as long as Remus could.

"It was just irresistible!" Draco was in a strange mood today. A little hyperactive, like he had a bit too much of the wrong potion. But Remus did not want to ask the wrong question. Maybe Draco was just… happy. Maybe the banking business was doing well. "Oh, you know how cool it is to have more people in this huge house again? It's bloody scary here – especially at night. Shouldn't let Teddy walk around here alone. Can he walk?"

Remus chuckled. "No, but he's quite fast on his butt," he said and laughed as Draco looked at him puzzled. "Put him on the ground and you'll see." He leant back against the chest of drawers he had just filled with his socks and crossed his arms, watching Draco turning to Teddy, who sat on the bed. It was sweet to see the two of them staring at each other, Teddy with a huge grin and Draco looking rather sceptically.

"Did he get more teeth since the last time I saw him?" Draco asked.

Remus shook his head but Draco still did not touch Teddy. "Are you afraid to drop him?" he asked, not even expecting Draco to blurt out about what he had for breakfast to be so… happy.

"Not really, but I'm scared to lose my fingers," Draco replied but leant forward to grab Teddy, who immediately reached out to hold onto Draco's robes. His tiny fingers dug into the expensive fabric and Teddy dragged himself closer, snuggling into Draco's clothes. "Ugh. He's clinging. Why is he clinging?"

"He likes you," Remus explained. "Especially the colour of your hair. You should see how often he's blond these days."

Draco seemed undecided if it was a compliment that Teddy wanted the same hair as his cousin. He shrugged and crouched to the ground, unavailingly trying to put Teddy down. Remus cleared his throat and suppressed a grin as Draco looked to him for help, begging silently but begging; his pleading, grey eyes swinging back and forth between Remus and Teddy.

"Let go, Teddy," Remus said, grabbing Teddy and pulling him away. Draco sighed in relief but Teddy started crying and reached for Draco.

"Merlin, look how red his face is," Draco said and stared in shock at the deluge of tears that streamed over Teddy's cheeks. "Give him back."

Remus did and Teddy stopped crying, although he was still sniffling a little, the noises muffled as Teddy hid his face in the crook of Draco's neck. "But you keep in mind that he's _my_ son, Draco. You'll have to give him back to me someday," Remus said in an amused voice that made Draco's lips curl into a soft smile.

"We'll see," Draco said, straightening and patting Teddy's back as he carried him around, slowing growing accustomed to Teddy in his arms. Remus watched Draco pacing around for a moment before the blond boy stopped by the window. The rays of the afternoon sun illuminated the white-blond hair of both Teddy and Draco, creating silvery and golden highlights. Again, Remus wished he had a camera to take a picture of this peaceful scene. Draco's excitement seemed to have disappeared and he gently rocked Teddy, who had never before looked so placidly.

Remus nearly forgot to finish unpacking his things because he was so fascinated by this image.

"I really owe you something," Draco said after a while, turning around to lean with his back against the wall so that Teddy was able to look out of the window over Draco's shoulder.

Remus closed his trunk. Draco saying such things felt as wrong as the cheerful mood he was in. Bringing Draco out of character had never been Remus' intention and this grateful look made him feel guilty, although there was no reason to feel this way for him. He was not taking advantage of Draco's situation to finance his life.

"Aunt Andromeda would've never even considered my offer," Draco said as Remus remained silent, just staring at him in confusion. "It must've been a lot of work to convince her. She's quite stubborn."

Remus could not help but agree. "But that's a typical Black character trait."

"Oh, what is this supposed to mean?" Draco asked, pouting slightly. "I'm not stubborn."

"Yes, you are," Remus said, walking to the bed and sitting down. "Just remember the way you talked to me to convince me. And a few years ago it was the same." Remus made a little more room for Draco as he sat down next to him. Apparently, Draco chose to slip closer instead of keeping a huge distance between them, which he had definitely still preferred a few days ago.

"I was everything but a model student, wasn't I?" Draco asked. He let Teddy down onto his lap and grabbed the tiny hands, playing with the fingers that were twice as small as his own.

Remus did not know what to say and focused his gaze on Draco's hands. Long, slender fingers enclosed Teddy's hand, and Remus could see blue lines shimmering through the pale skin. Draco's nails seem to shine a little; the white half-moons at the tip were perfectly neat, nothing like the irregular nails Remus called his own, with ragged, uneven cuticles and most of the time a thin darker line underneath them.

"You can tell me if I was a pain in the arse, Remus," Draco said and Remus nearly jumped in shock. Draco blinked at him as Remus' eyes grew big when he looked at him instead examining the nails of his former student. He could not remember having something like hand fetishism but that could not stop the sudden need to touch Draco's hand rising in him.

"Why, Draco?" Remus balled his hands into fists to prevent himself from grabbing Draco's hand. "Would you want to change your behaviour? It's not too late for that."

Draco grabbed Teddy and placed him on the mattress, grinning as the kid fell on his back. Reaching out, Draco pulled Teddy's shirt up and started tickling his belly. He engaged Teddy's hands and feet in play like this was not his first time. Remus coughed. His first time playing with Teddy, of course, and not in case of being a virgin. He really had to stop looking at Draco's fingers. That made him nervous in a way he should not feel nervous around Draco.

"Are you ignoring me now?" Remus asked and chuckled as Draco nodded. "Very well… Then I'll just leave and let you play with Teddy."

Draco sneered. "Feeling a little neglected?"

"Yes, very much," Remus joked. "But you seem to be on very good terms with Teddy…"

"He doesn't seem to be a… difficult child. Very… sociable," Draco said, apparently feeling strange to refer to Teddy as a human and not a thing without a personality. "I think we'll get along well. I mean… somebody has to look after him while you're at work and Aunt Andromeda spends her time with my mother."

Remus was not so sure if this was as good an idea as Draco apparently thought. It was one thing to let him play with Teddy while Remus was around, but leaving him alone with all the necessary duties seemed a little too much. Stress had never been something that Draco could handle very well and a baby was very stressful.

Draco seemed to sense Remus' doubts. "You think that I can't do it, right?"

"Well, maybe not yet," Remus said, gifting Draco an apologetic smile that made him snort. "You're just not used to children. It's not that I'm afraid you'll hurt him or…"

"Or that I'm bad company?" Draco put Teddy's clothes in order and helped him sit up, trying to cover that he felt a little hurt, but the angles of his mouth were twitching suspiciously.

"I never…" Remus shook his head. "Of course you can look after Teddy. I don't have anything against it. I even appreciate it if you two build up a close relationship. He's your cousin, after all. I don't want this to be like the relationship between you and Tonks."

"You mean nonexistent?" Draco pulled his legs onto the mattress, again taking Teddy's hands. Teddy's smile widened and he tried to free his small fists, laughing as Draco dandled him back and forth. "I never knew I had a cousin, actually. What a strange coincidence that she married my former professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts…"

"You're quite talkative today," Remus admitted.

Draco looked at him with a puzzled expression in his face. "Sorry," he mumbled, seeming even more confused as Remus shook his head. "Father never liked that I tend to blether."

Remus shifted uncomfortably on the bed. The thought of being just a replacement for Draco's father was not far to seek, but Remus did not want it to feel even stranger when he stared at Draco's hands a moment too long. Well, it was not right to have an obsession with any part of Draco's body… Remus felt perverted. Draco was a handsome young man, but the operative word was young. Remus felt paedophiliac, although it was pathetic because Draco was of age and did not look like a child, but… he did not want to destroy the life of another young human.

It was not his fault that Tonks had died, but he still felt responsible, most likely because he had not made the last months of her life the most beautiful time. He had married her, impregnated her and then he had run off, only to crawl back to a woman that was so very different from Draco. He did not know what was wrong with him that he was about to make the same mistake again. Being attracted to someone half his age was one thing, but Draco could not handle such a volatile temperament as well as Tonks. He was so fragile inside and needed someone to protect him. Tonks had always been able to take care of herself, knowing exactly what she wanted, while Draco seemed so lost at the moment. Like a puppy kicked out in the rain that did not know if maybe it deserved such a punishment, waiting for someone to either kick him again or take him inside.

"Your father isn't here," Remus said. "Feel free to chew my ear off."

Draco quirked his eyebrow, sizing Remus up and smirking as he noticed the deep blush that painted Remus' cheeks rosy. "Look at that, Ted…" He shook his head, before smiling down on Teddy. "Your daddy tries to hit on me. What do you think about that?"

Remus sighed and stood up. Draco followed him, holding Teddy tightly in his arms.

"That was just a joke. I know you don't want me to literally chew on your ear…" Draco bit hard on his bottom lip, bringing blood to the surface and with that a deep red colour. Remus' eyes lingered on Draco's mouth a moment too long so that he hardly heard what Draco had said.

"I know that it was just a joke, Draco. I'm not that old and don't take everything you say seriously," Remus said, amused.

"Was it inappropriate because of your wife?" It surprised Remus that Draco seemed to actually care, although it was rather because Remus was more useful for him when he was not offended. Of course Draco did not care about Remus being hurt.

"That's not a topic we should discuss, Draco," Remus said and headed for the door, Draco right behind him.

"Okay," Draco said, his voice absolutely emotionless. "Shall I show you the Library?"

Remus nodded, surprised that Draco cared about having Remus' company. He must have been very lonely in the last months and had to make up for a lot of babbling if he wanted to spend time with a filthy werewolf and his least favourite teacher.

"You know, Greyback never went in there," Draco explained. "He didn't like books. They seemed to scare him. I always thought that he couldn't read. But anyway, I spent quite a lot of time there during my holidays and it actually needs some archiving. Maybe you'd like to help me?" The hopeful spark in Draco's eyes made it impossible to deny him anything, so Remus nodded in agreement, although he already had done enough inventories this year and now he even agreed to do it without getting paid for it.

There might be something wrong with him…

"It's…" Draco shook his head instead of finishing his sentence, but the look he gave Remus made up for every syllable. He was thankful and that was more than Remus had ever dared hoping to receive from Draco Malfoy.


	5. Rogue Rumours

Remus caught himself smelling Draco's hair a little too often. The scent of a fresh summer rain flowed from him, mingled with a shade of lemon, which had to be an after-effect of his shampoo and soap.

It was not like Remus really wanted to bury his face in the blond strands but he had to look over Draco's shoulder so often that he could not help but inhaling the overpowering aroma and the wolf inside him was completely taken in by the smell. He wondered what effects it would have on him if Draco started sweating when it got warmer again. Surely, just embarrassing effects.

"Draco, stop reading and start working." Remus peered over Draco's shoulder and laughed softly against the now slightly flushed cheek of Draco's normally pale and cold skin. He liked spending time with Draco and Teddy in the library, but Draco was so easily distracted that he was anything but a help when it came to archiving.

"This is my house," Draco said, slamming the book shut and passing it to Remus, who placed it on the stack of books. "I don't have to do anything not-amusing here."

"And why are you here, then?" Remus was mesmerised by the sparkles in Draco's light grey eyes. There was no hatred in them, not even dislike, so very different from the year when the young Malfoy had always given him his 'drop dead'-glare.

"Because it amuses me to watch you working, Remus," Draco smirked. Pointedly, he crossed his arms on the table and watched Remus, who was still listening to the echo of Draco's voice in his head. He never heard his name spoken out loud like this before. Like every syllable was a perfectly hit note. "Feel free to go on if you are finished ogling me."

Remus blinked. "What?"

Draco shook his head. "Forget it. I have to keep in my mind that these jokes are insensitive," he said with a sigh. "Too bad. Now I have to look into the window to keep me busy."

"Why?" Remus asked, hating his taciturnity for which he received an odd look from Draco.

"To ogle my reflection?" Draco chuckled low. "I need to find out if maybe I have something at the corner of my mouth. Like on Christmas." Before he could turn around, Remus held him back with placing a hand on Draco's shoulder.

"It's nothing. I just wondered… Well, you seem to be in a very good mood today and that made me wonder," Remus explained but with Draco's cheeks still slightly flushed he could not resist and stroked quickly over the soft skin. "Oh, but there you had a tiny dust particle."

Rolling his eyes, Draco wiped the touch off his cheek. "Go back to work," he muttered and stood up, rocking the chair backwards so loudly that Teddy stared at him with big eyes.

Remus watched Draco walking over to the boy with the rainbow-coloured hair, who sat on the floor between the large bookshelves, playing with his toy blocks. The blocks were promptly not interesting anymore and Teddy reached out to Draco, who lifted him off the ground with a groan. Again, the image of the two together warmed Remus' heart in a foreign way – or in a way he once knew but had forgotten until now.

"He's so heavy," Draco said, sounding truly surprised at that although he had held Teddy just a few minutes ago. "You make a little… meatball out of him, Remus."

"As long as you don't feel the urge to take a bite, it's okay," Remus answered before he returned to his archiving work to escape Draco's powerful gaze.

"Well, we'll see, Ted, won't we?" Draco started walking around but he always stayed close enough so that Remus could hear him. "If we keep strengthening the family ties we might end up together when you are a rebellious teenager, who wants to stay with his cool cousin Draco, instead of old, boring Daddy. Very clichéd. We are at the beginning of a wonderful love story. Don't you think so too, Remus?"

Remus' quill stopped scratching over the parchment and he looked up to Draco. "I think this might be reserved for a girl. Otherwise it wouldn't be clichéd." He winked at Draco, who had pursed his lips at this comment.

Shaking his head, he ruffled Teddy's hair and grinned with triumph when Teddy snuggled close to him. "You already promised him to a Weasley, right? I heard that another one of them is newlywed. That goes quite fast."

"Don't tell me you're really interested in Percy Weasley's wedding." Remus tickled his chin with the end of the quill while he watched Draco letting Teddy down to the ground again.

"What if I was?" Draco folded his arms in front of his chest. "Am I not allowed to ask you about the Weasleys?"

Remus raised a hand to calm Draco down. "I just didn't think that it could be really interesting for you." He gulped hard when Draco sat down next to him, his thigh resting inadvertently against Remus'. The slight pressure made Remus remember the short touch of Draco's finger on his bare skin and the heights it had taken him to. His head started spinning and his body soared with every second that Draco's body touched his.

"Do you think that I'm jealous?" Draco did not notice that he left Remus trembling and desperate with just touching him, because he was too busy worrying about the impression he gave his environment. "I am not. I don't have to be. I was just curious…" Draco pouted, his full lips pursing slightly and the look in his eyes was addictive.

"You don't need to justify, Draco," Remus said softly, but just because a louder voice would probably reveal his desire with an audible tremor. But otherwise his hoarse voice might be suspicious, too. But then again, his voice was always hoarse. "You might as well get used to the possibility that you have to cope with them from time to time. Bill's wife is pregnant, so Teddy gets a new friend to play with soon."

"Bill Weasley hungers for my money," Draco muttered to himself. "I see his greedy looks whenever I entered Gringotts. And what is it with his hair? Does he know how untrustworthy it looks when he sits behind his desk and _on_ his bloody hair?"

Remus pressed his lips together to suppress laughter. "You are overstating, Draco. His hair isn't _that_ long."

"And that earring. Bad taste is inherited. I bet Ronald is going to wear that Basilisk fang as soon as he stopped crying because of the unbearable pain of getting his ear pierced," Draco babbled, while Remus wondered why he had called Ron Ronald. Probably, because referring to him as Weasley while talking about all Weasleys would be confusing. "You don't really want to bespeak Teddy to a Weasley girl, do you?"

Now it was Remus' turn to give Draco an odd look, before he said: "I won't bespeak Teddy to anyone. But it's highly probable that he'll grow up with the Weasleys as some sort of second family. After all, Harry is his godfather."

"And that's it," Draco said, apparently pouting again. "Why does he have to marry a Weasley, then?"

Remus sighed loudly and started rubbing his temple. "He can marry whoever he wants, Draco. I only said that he'll grow up with the Weasleys, befriending them, most likely. He's not even a year old. There's lots of time for him to learn that you can be affected by other things than pretty hair."

Suddenly, there was the old smirk lifting Draco's lips up. "You think that my hair is pretty?"

"Teddy thinks so," Remus corrected.

"Ted has a good taste," Draco said, brushing the blond hair out of his face. Remus wanted to touch the nearly white strands so badly that it could not be normal. Being attracted to Draco felt so utterly wrong and strangely right that Remus did not know if he should stop watching him – or if he _could_. "I doubt that he'll ever fancy red hair."

"Oh, Draco. Isn't it enough now?" Remus turned back to the rolls of parchment and grabbed his quill, avoiding Draco's eyes. "Stop planning Teddy's future."

"Why?" Draco moved away from Remus, slipping off his seat. "Because it doesn't include me?"

Remus put his quill away, turning to face Draco. He tilted his head with a puzzled expression that made Draco huff.

"You'll take him away with you and then I'll never see him again," Draco said, his voice cold as ice to hide the fact that he was hurt. Remus had watched him with Teddy during the last days but he had never dared to think that Draco grew accustomed to his son so quickly.

"No… no!" Remus reached for Draco's arm to pull him back onto his seat, but Draco backed away. "What makes you think that I could do that?"

"The fact that I am Draco Malfoy and that I don't fit into your happy family thing with Potter and that bunch of Weasels," Draco said, flashed Remus a sharp look and walked away, disappearing behind the wooden bookshelves.

"Draco…" Remus sighed and hurried after Draco, just stopping to call a house-elf that looked after Teddy for a short moment. He needed to get Draco back; Teddy's big eyes were slowly filling with tears, bottom lip shaking because Draco was in a complete turmoil so suddenly.

He caught Draco in the hallway, heading for the stairs in a flurry of robes.

"Draco, wait!" Remus grabbed Draco's arm and dragged him backwards, making him stumble and nearly falling onto the ground. "Would you stop acting like this? Rather chew my ears off, okay?"

"See! You are annoyed!" Draco freed himself and scowled at Remus. "What are you telling them? Did you tell them that I begged for you to move in here because I can't cope with Mother's depression? Did you make fun of me because I like playing with a stupid little child? It's highly amusing to get everything for free and then going back to your friends to tell them every dirty little secret, right?"

Remus shook his head in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

"I know what you said to Bill Weasley at Gringotts. You don't want a 'spoilt little brat' to see Ted after this here – everything! – is over." Draco snorted. "Because I ruin your carefully rebuilt reputation. And with that Ted's future, right?"

"No… Who told you this nonsense?" Remus could not think of anything else to say when he had to look into Draco's tear-filled eyes. He blinked hastily so that he did not start crying in front of Remus, but the burning itch seemed to increase and Draco turned away to wipe his eyes.

"Doesn't matter," Draco said in a shaky voice and Remus wondered who would tell Draco such things so that he believed them.

Remus forced a smile. "You can always visit Teddy, even if we don't live here anymore."

"That's what you say now," Draco fired back, whirling around to glare at Remus. "Because you are afraid of losing my money!"

"I don't care about your money!" Remus noticed Draco's eyes widening in shock because of his loud voice. Draco lowered his chin and shifted his gaze to the ground.

"Then why are you here?" he asked in almost a whisper. "There's no other reason…"

Remus grabbed Draco's chin and lifted it up, so that they had to look at each other. "Because you asked me for help. I might not be much use when it comes to Narcissa but I still have two ears you can chew off." He smiled at Draco, feeling the skin under his fingers growing hot when he cupped Draco's cheek. "You don't annoy me. I never said anything like that to Bill. We just talked… a minute. There was no time for more than small talk. And it's a fact that you are a spoilt brat. You like giving me orders, you start yelling at the house-elves if your tea has the wrong temperature, you –"

"I understand," Draco interrupted, tossing his head away from Remus' hand. "I was just… disappointed…" He took a deep breath, flushing deeply. "I think I've grown accustomed to this situation a little too much."

Remus nodded back to the library. "Teddy misses you already," he said as Draco seemed uncertain. "He loves you very much. It would be pure torture for him if he wasn't allowed to see you again."

"Loves me?" Draco whispered and smiled that rare smile Remus wanted to enclose in his heart. "You think he does… like me?"

"I think 'love' is the right word," Remus said and winked, motioning Draco to follow him. He did not know that a blush could be so hypnotising but he was unable to look away from Draco's almost sheepish expression.

"So, he'd be allowed to marry me?" Draco joked and was obviously proud that a low chuckle escaped Remus' throat. But that he looked up to Remus was a mistake, because Draco suddenly stumbled over a crease in the carpet and would have fallen to the ground if Remus had not grabbed him from behind, pulling him back onto his feet before Draco's weight made them both fall.

"Be careful," Remus rasped into Draco's ear, holding him just a moment longer than was necessary. "Teddy won't run away."

"Yes, but he's quite fast on his butt." Draco turned his head to show Remus his smirk, bringing their lips dangerously close. "You can let me go now." He breathed the words directly against Remus' mouth and the tingling sensation made it even harder to pull his hands away. Draco looked at him warily, before turning around and heading towards the library.

Remus followed him like in trance, footsteps meeting the painful beat of his heart.


	6. The Weeping of the Wind

The nights at Malfoy Manor were truly pure horror. Remus sensed the dark magic growing stronger as soon as the darkness enveloped the house. It was getting colder and no spell Remus knew could change the temperature. Sometimes he thought that he could see his own breathing in a small, foggy cloudlet. Sometimes the goose bumps appeared even with several layers of clothes. Sometimes Remus thought that he could hear someone else than Teddy crying.

Like tonight…

Remus covered Teddy with his blanket as he noticed the sobbing noises from outside the door, drowned by the thick wood but still audible for his wolf senses. At first he tried to ignore them, brushing the hair out of Teddy's face and thinking about something completely different.

But then he thought that he recognised the voice. Frowning, Remus listened for a moment before he left the room, but not without casting a charm that made him hear when Teddy woke and cried. In this huge house you would never hear him, with or without wolf senses.

Remus walked along the corridors, following the sobs that grew louder with each step. He found Draco in the living room in front of the dusty and ashy fireplace. Knees pulled up to his chest, Draco slowly rocked back and forth, crying in a way Remus had never expected. Draco sobbed bitterly, looking so utterly vulnerable that Remus just wanted to hug him.

He did not know why he suppressed that urge.

Slowly, he approached Draco, who suddenly stopped rocking. Remus stood still and caught his breath as Draco's tear-filled eyes met his. Gulping hard, he moved to sit down beside Draco, who immediately rose to his feet, straightening himself and smoothing his robes.

"What are you doing here?" Draco hissed, taking a step backwards so that Remus could not see his face in the shadows anymore. "Sneaking around at such a late time isn't very –"

"I heard you crying," Remus interrupted with a smile that did not soften Draco up. "I just wanted to make sure that everything is okay. No sneaking around."

Draco eyed him suspiciously. "I didn't cry," he said and if his eyes were not reddened Remus would have believed him. "I'm not your stupid crying machine."

Remus shook his head disapprovingly. "Don't call Teddy this just because you are offended. And you don't need to be. It's okay to cry from time to time. Even for men."

"Oh, really? Well, then go ahead and join your son when he starts annoying everyone again with his wailing," Draco snapped at Remus, who tried to stay calm. Draco was just trying to protect himself because Remus had seen him in this state of vulnerability.

"Draco," Remus sighed and gave Draco a pleading look. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Yeah, why are you sneaking around here at night? Searching for some dark objects you can show to your friends so that I can join my father in Azkaban?" Draco folded his arms in front of his chest, turning around and showing Remus his slightly shaking back. "I knew it was a mistake to invite you, too. But without you Andromeda wouldn't have come. Still… you make everything worse…"

Remus could not really follow Draco's mumbling but he took advantage of his absentmindedness to approach him again. "I don't want to make anything worse for you, Draco. Have I said something to offend you?"

Draco whirled around to face him, face paler than usual and eyes wide with paranoia. "It's your presence that makes everything worse," he said, mouth twitching upwards into a maniac smile. "I didn't really want to come close to creatures like you again ever in my life. And now you're running around in my house to catch me in such humiliating situations."

Remus could see in Draco's face that he was close to tears again. "You know that I didn't come to laugh at you."

Draco nodded, now hugging himself more than crossing his arms defensively. "I don't want anyone to see my cry again," he whispered and took a deep, shaking breath. "You say it's all right, but… you don't have a clue what they did to me whenever one single tear was visible in my eyes. And it didn't matter if it were tears of pain or compassion. They just took every opportunity to…" Draco paused and looked at Remus, suddenly narrowing his eyes.

Remus was not sure what he had done to receive such a look, seeing a spark of hatred glowing in the grey eyes. He waved at Draco to continue, making Draco snort with his nod.

"Do not pity me," Draco almost drawled. "Do not lie to me, okay? Feel free to tell me that I'm weak. It's not like it's a secret…"

"I think anyone living in this house would burst into tears sooner or later," Remus confessed and Draco blinked at this odd comment. "Don't be ashamed, Draco. You've been through a lot and…"

Draco stopped him by raising his hand. "I don't want your pity. False or not. I don't…" He lowered his voice so that Remus barely heard him. "I don't deserve it after everything I've done."

"Come here," Remus said and reached out a hand to Draco, who tilted his head in confusion. He seemed to be shocked as Remus pulled him into his arms, giving a token push against Remus' chest before digging his fingers into his shirt. Draco stiffened as Remus' hand pressed gently against his back to push him closer. The warmth of his body made this a lot more pleasant than Remus had thought it could be in this situation. "Draco, you should stop drowning yourself in self-pity. You're alive. That's all that matters."

"Alive?" Draco relaxed a little, splaying his fingers over Remus' chest and although his hand was cold it seemed to burn a hole into Remus' flesh right there where he could feel the frantic beat of his heart. "What does that matter when I lost everything? My reputation, my future prospects… my friends. They think I'm a traitor, a loser, whatever they think, in the end they don't want to talk to me anymore. Like everyone else in this bloody country. The name Malfoy is mud these days, and it's my fault."

Before Remus could open his mouth his attempt to comfort Draco was drowned by the heartbreaking sob that escaped Draco's throat. Remus felt soft hair brushing over his cheek and jaw as Draco leant forward to press his forehead against Remus's shoulder.

"What does i_my_/i life matter anymore? My presence, my actions… they don't make a difference anymore. Nobody cares, nobody will notice, because I'm locked up in this house if I want to stay alive, but for what? I don't know where my place is. It feels like a harsh wind is keeping me from taking the direction I want. This is why I'm crying. Because I mourn the life I wanted to live." Draco pushed Remus away but stayed barely an inch away from him, looking up to him with eyes that seemed to be afloat with tears. "Don't tell me that I pity myself. I don't even want my own pity."

"But you do. That is pity," Remus said softly but Draco shook his head.

"It's not," he said, shutting his eyes tightly as Remus' hand moved to his cheek to wipe a tear away. "No, it's not."

"You can still live the life you want," Remus said with a sigh. "It just frightens you that you have to work for it now. Adjusting your sails to the wind is harder than complaining about it, or just waiting for it to change. But it's already working very well, isn't it? Look how easily you convinced me to live in this scary place with my son, who thinks the creaking noises are funny." Remus smiled as Draco slowly opened his eyes again. "And it's good that you don't want to grow accustom to this state of being locked up. All you need to do is lose your fear of…"

"Of other people's opinions?" Draco asked.

Remus shrugged. "I thought more about the tomatoes they'll throw at you in Diagon Ally."

Draco laughed softly and punched Remus lightly against the chest. "Pathetic speeches fit you better than trying to be funny," he said, frowning as he noticed the small distance between them. He cleared his throat and took a step backwards, turning around to hide the red colour of his cheeks but Remus could see the blush creeping up Draco's neck. "I didn't mean to yell at you…"

"It's okay, Draco," Remus said, placing a hand on Draco's shoulder and rubbing his back gently. He could feel Draco's shoulder blades and the rippled spine as he moved his hand to the other side, wrapping his arm around Draco. "What about some hot chocolate?"

Draco shrugged unsurely. "I'm not sure if we should wake the house-elves. They're strange these days. I'm anxious to avoid trouble with them as I really don't want to clean this house on my own." Draco's eyes lingered on the hand on his shoulder and Remus considered taking it away for a moment, but instead he exerted a slight pressure to make Draco move.

"We don't need the house-elves for hot chocolate," Remus said genially.

Draco raised his eyebrows. "I don't know how to make hot chocolate."

Remus chuckled. He could just picture how lost Draco was in his own kitchen. "Leave it to me then." Maybe Remus just imagined it but he had the vague feeling that Draco moved a little closer, leaning against him with body and face, but before he could ensure himself Draco rushed towards the kitchen door. As he entered the room, Draco had already sat down on the stool next to the counter, fingers drumming on the wood as though he had to wait an eternity for Remus.

"Well," Draco said, looking around in the huge room before flashing Remus a challenging smile. "Now, show me that you can find anything in here."

Remus pulled out his wand and i_Accio_/ied the required ingredients. Draco rolled his eyes and waved scornfully at Remus, who let out a low chuckle.

Passing Draco his cup, Remus sat down next to him and spun his own hot chocolate in his hands. Draco's sips were barely audible, but they somehow increased the need to turn around and watch him drinking. Remus gazed at Draco out of the corners of his eyes, focused on the full and rosy lips that swallowed sip after sip. The wetness made his lips shine seductively and Remus immediately shifted his gaze away as Draco's tongue darted out to lick over his lips.

"So, what do you want to do now, Draco? And you know what I mean. You're too young just to sit at home and do nothing," Remus said hoarsely, glancing at Draco, who turned to look at him, making a scoffing noise.

"I like doing nothing," he said. "That's not my problem. And actually, I'm a full-time babysitter at the moment." He elbowed Remus, catching him flat-footed and nearly knocking him off his stool. Draco stared at him in wonderment and grabbed his cup tightly with both hands, apparently mistrusting his own hands.

Remus cleared his throat and took a deep breath before facing Draco again, who still looked puzzled. "Sorry, I –"

"It's because I said that I never wanted to come close to creatures like you again, right?" Draco interrupted, searching Remus' eyes. "You're… hurt."

Remus opened his mouth but did not know what he could say so he just shook his head, feeling like a complete idiot.

Draco looked like he thought something similar. "I… I think it wouldn't be good for me to hurt you. I'll try not to do it again. After all… you are my friend."

At first, Remus was flattered and smiled full-heartily at Draco, but as Draco's mouth turned more into a smirk than a smile Remus considered that being Draco Malfoy's friend might not be something he wanted to be. Draco's view of what friends were was completely different from Remus', and he actually did not want to end up on Draco's right flank, threatening everyone who came close to Draco with his fists.

"And that after everything I've done…" Draco's smirk became softer, turned into a real smile, and he reached out to grab Remus' hand tightly. "Thank you…" Well, hearing these words out of Draco's mouth was definitely a rare thing Remus would cherish as long as possible.

"Will you tell me what upset you?" Remus asked cautiously, turning his hand so that he could wrap his fingers around Draco's soft hand. Confused, Draco gazed down at their joined hands before looking up and frowning at Remus, lips slightly parted. Remus noticed Draco's rapid breathing and after several seconds in which Draco did not say a single word Remus leant closer.

Draco's eyes fluttered closed and Remus was sure that he could already feel the shaking lips on his as a loud ringing noise made him jump. Remus blushed deeply, pressing a hand to his forehead and searching for his wand to stop the high-pitched noise, while Draco stared absently at the wall.

"Teddy woke up," Remus explained and Draco nodded. "Uhm… Have a good night, Draco." Again, Draco only nodded, turning his back to Remus, who waited for a moment in the doorframe in case that Draco wanted to say something to him.

Of course Draco did not want to talk to him. Remus had just destroyed every promise of friendship they had built up because he was a bloody old pervert – at least that was what Draco was thinking now. Blushing deeply, Remus turned around and stormed out of the kitchen.


	7. Midnight Mess

Guilt was hovering over Remus' head like the dark clouds outside that covered the crescent moon. It was completely unacceptable what he had done – or nearly done. But that it was wrong did not stop Remus from wanting it. He wanted to kiss Draco Malfoy. How wrong was it to yearn after his former student? And Draco Malfoy of all people.

His handsomeness was undeniable but he was even younger than Dora had been. Remus did not want to go through all these doubts again, especially since Draco was in a mentally unstable state. He came to the conclusion that he was just desperately missing sex and Draco had become incredibly attractive, but he still lacked all the character traits Remus would have found fanciable. Considering him handsome and loving his smell was something different than actually wanting him. At least Remus hoped there was a difference, otherwise… No, he did not even want to think about it.

Maybe he should visit Knockturn Alley to put an end to these inappropriate thoughts…

He nodded determinedly while staring at the ceiling. Teddy slept peacefully in the room next to him, in a bed that was softer than anything Remus could ever put up. And it was the best thing for Andromeda to spend time with her sister now, after she lost so many people in her life. He could not destroy this opportunity because hormones had eventually destroyed his control.

Remus sighed and closed his eyes, but the knocking noise kept him from falling asleep. He sat up and held his breath, listening to the creaking door that opened slowly, not bringing some light from outside into the room. Still, Remus immediately recognised the figure that sneaked into his room and closed the door to lean against the wood, watching him out of the darkness.

"Draco?" As if he had spoken an invitation, Draco shoved himself off of the door and walked towards the bed, sitting down next to Remus' feet. "What are you doing here?" Remus asked, silently begging that Draco did not want to talk about what nearly happened a few hours ago. He just wanted to forget about their almost-kiss, because if he did not then Draco would probably play the lead in Little Red Riding Hood, noticing Remus' big feet and saying…

"My, what big feet you have," Draco said and reached for Remus' feet, chuckling as it disappeared under the blanket. "Sorry… I… I can't sleep."

"Me, too," Remus said, moving back to the head of the bed when Draco came closer. "Teddy kept me awake."

"Teddy?" Remus could hear that Draco did not believe him. "Okay… So, I have to speak plain English: What was that about in the kitchen? Did you try to kiss me or was there something in my hot chocolate?"

"I didn't put something into your drink to make you willing," Remus said and relaxed a little as Draco laughed softly. "Draco, I have to apologise. I shouldn't have tried to… to…"

"You are lonely," Draco said comprehendingly. "But I thought… that together we don't have to be lonely."

Remus' head banged against the headboard as he backed away, not expecting Draco to eagerly move closer, lips pursed and slightly parted in anticipation to be kissed. "I don't think this is a good idea," Remus said, turning his head away so that he only felt Draco's breathing hitting his cheek.

"I'll prove otherwise," Draco said. Remus felt like he was melting into the pillows as Draco's soft lips brushed over his cheek, meeting rough stubbles before reaching his lips. Closing his eyes, Remus gave into the soft kiss that inflamed a fire in his chest that was too intense for him to stand, so that he could barely breathe, not even in the short moments Draco's mouth did not cover his.

His hand ran over Draco's back to his hair to grasp a mass of it, pulling him even closer against him. Remus grabbed Draco's hip and rolled them around, pressing Draco flat on his back onto the mattress. Draco's fingers were already slipping into Remus' pants before their hips could exert any pressure on growing erections.

Remus panted by the sensation of Draco's soft hand, pulled away from the supple lips and yanked Draco's shirt over his head, throwing it carelessly behind him. Before Draco could even try to reach for Remus' clothes again, his wrists were pressed on either side of his head and he was engaged in another feral kiss. Remus rutted frantically against him, making up for the lack of friction before until he felt Draco's moan vibrating against his tongue.

Remus withdrew from Draco's mouth, listening to the soft gasps as he pulled down the boy's pyjama trousers. Draco was writhing underneath him, kicking his pants away and wrapping his arms around Remus as soon as all of his clothes lay forgotten on the floor.

Their bodies were pressed tight against each other, the heat of Draco's body searing Remus' flesh and soon he was thrusting violently into the willing body underneath him. Draco's hands moved over every inch of skin they could reach as Remus crashed their mouths hard enough together to hear their teeth clacking.

Someone this beautiful and flawless should not be defiled like that. Remus felt like he destroyed the pure innocence by pounding ruthlessly into Draco and filling him with malicious venom, so he was glad as he opened his eyes and there was nothing but darkness surrounding him.

No Draco, no mistake, just the shadow of a dream lingering in the lonely darkness and ready to be swallowed by it.

Remus took a deep breath and lifted his blanket up, sighing at the mess he found there. Reaching for his wand, he sent a cleaning spell over himself and sat up. Several minutes he just stared into cold nothingness before burying his head in his hands and letting out a hoarse scream that sadly did not even wake Teddy. He wished so much that something would distract him now.

The image of Draco sprawled on his bed seemed so real, like he could grab it and feel every emotion again in the same intense way. He stretched out a hand and searched for a different warmth on the twisted sheets, but of course he could not find something that had never been there.

Remus stood up and slipped into his house shoes, ready to walk around for the rest of the night or until Teddy needed him again. He did not even notice the creepy atmosphere, did not see any monsters lingering in the shadows, waiting to attack him and making him pay for his dreams.

But his thoughts were dragged to Draco again and the possibility of maybe finding him awake was like a beacon in the night, guiding him towards Draco's room. The door stood slightly open and Remus gulped as he noticed the shimmer of light hinting that Draco was awake. He knocked softly, probably too softly because Draco did not call him in. But that could not keep Remus from pushing the door open and stepping inside Draco's room.

His eyes focused on the slender body sprawled on the bed – sadly, not his bed. Remus sighed deeply, desperately wanting Draco to just sit up and inviting him to come closer – which he did without invitation and against his better judgement. But Remus told himself that he just wanted to turn off the light that was still burning on the bedside table.

Draco was just fallen asleep, not covered under his blanket but clinging to some fabric, a shirt, apparently. Tears were glittering in the dim light on his cheeks, making Remus sit down on the edge of the bed and wiping the wetness off Draco's face. He probably missed Lucius and this was his father's shirt.

Remus tried to pull the shirt out of Draco's hands but the long fingers grabbed the fabric even tighter. Draco moaned; a sound that was hard to take for Remus at the moment. Taking a deep breath and filling his lungs with the air Draco's sound had just punched out, Remus pulled the blanket over Draco and made sure he was covered completely.

"Oh, Draco…" Remus brushed the white-blond hair out of Draco's face. "What have you done to me?" He felt so guilty, ashamed and still every fibre of his body seemed to feel the same emotions that made his heart beat up to his throat. That could not be just because he was lonely. This desire and yearning, the daily increasing need to protect Draco had to be more than lust.

But he did not want it to be more. He was not ready to have such deep feelings for someone again. Maybe this would change after a long, intense visit in Knockturn Alley to get rid of these wet dreams.

Remus just wanted to stand up as Draco sniffed barely audibly Probably, Draco's sadness was a result of his loneliness but maybe it had other reasons… Maybe just some very normal teenager problems. The shirt actually did not look or feel like it belonged to Lucius. The cotton seemed cheaper and it was blue at a closer look, not a colour Lucius preferred – actually, he did not prefer any colours.

Remus remembered that Draco had been sitting in front of the fireplace, so he might have talked to somebody, argued and fought until he could no longer hold back his tears. But Remus did not want to think about Draco's heart being already taken.

Looking around in the room, Remus tried to make out some hints for a relationship. He would have notice that by now, after all he was living with Draco. Neither a girlfriend nor a boyfriend had shown up and Draco was always determined to pretend that nobody in the whole wizarding world would talk to him at the moment.

Remus stood up as he noticed photos standing on the cheffonier. The dim light of his wand showed him some old pictures of Draco and his family, Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe, Pansy Parkinson clinging to his arm at the Yule Ball, and the Slytherin Quidditch team from 1992 to 1995. The frames were polished and clean, no single dust particle lying on them but with the house-elves still doing their job he had not expected anything else. Still, he believed that Draco did not look at the photos very often, if at all. Or he looked at them too often, drowning in better memories.

Remus turned to Draco's desk, finding several rolls of parchment there and an unfinished letter. He felt bad as he leant over the letter, but he told himself that he only wanted to throw a look at the salutation. But what he found there was certainly not good for his heart that starting pounding against his chest as if it wanted to burst out. And that only because of one neatly written R.

His smile was so big that it hurt his cheeks. Remus shook his head and the smile off. R. could be the abbreviation for hundreds of names, and the letter might not even be a love letter. The only thing he knew for sure was that the D. at the bottom stood for Draco. It had to be a new fashion to just write the first letter of a name or Draco was afraid that someone read his letter while he was sleeping.

Remus sat down and read the first lines. Most of the sentences were crossed through and unreadable and it seemed like Draco's mood had changed rapidly from word to word. He did not really want this letter to be addressed at him, but he wanted to know who had made Draco cry.

This could also be a letter to his uncle Rodolphus or Rabastan Lestrange in Azkaban. Well, or it was really for him…

The foggy cloud of teenage infatuation slowly disappeared and Remus swallowed hard at the memory of banking business or more probably at the memory of Roger.

Roger Davies.


	8. Snarling and Snogging

"Who?" Bill Weasley tilted his head, looking at Remus with a puzzled expression on his scarred face. He had Teddy on his lap and kept him away from the paper knife on his desk, which mesmerised Teddy because it was shiny and mirrored his huge smile.

"Roger Davies," Remus repeated, nervously looking around in the office. He had come to talk with Bill about 'banking business' after he was unable to think about anything else at the moment. "Draco told me he's responsible for a part of his money."

Bill nodded. "But we are all responsible for the Malfoys' fortune – kind of. I mean, it's huge. That's all that I can tell you, Remus. Sorry."

"Oh, I didn't want to know anything about… banking business." Remus felt pathetic. "Just about… Roger Davies. I can't remember him very well, although he was in my class."

"He went to the Yule Ball with my wife," Bill muttered and let out a deep growl, which amused Teddy, who tried to mimic this noise. Bill cleared his throat while Teddy chortled. "I think we share the thing for blonds. He's talking quite often about his new flame, but he never asks about Fleur's pregnancy. I think it shocked him to see her belly at the New Year's staff party." Again, Bill cleared his throat and flashed Remus a quite obvious look.

"Oh! How's Fleur doing?" Remus asked for the first time. He was completely elsewhere with his thoughts and actually he did not want Bill to know that he apparently shared his thing for blonds, too.

"Pretty good. She complains about gaining the weight of a hippogriff, but she's totally overreacting. I mean, she doesn't have much of a belly yet, but she's so fragile that you notice every little change immediately." Bill turned Teddy around and ruffled his tomato red hair, which looked like ketchup mingled with mayonnaise because Teddy did not get rid of his white-blond strands entirely. "Just a few months and you have someone else than that snotty brat of Malfoy to play with, Teddy. How's that?" Teddy clapped his tiny hands together and grinned widely.

Remus smiled half-heartily. "So, Roger does have –"

"Remus, what's this about?" Bill asked. "I thought you came because you wanted to talk about a trust fund for Teddy. A little small talk is fine but I'm not an expert when it comes to my colleagues."

"I'm sorry, Bill. I was just curious…" He paused and stopped himself with a wave of his hand, standing up. "I better leave now."

"I didn't mean to clear you away, Remus," Bill said and clung to Teddy, who happily tried to return the hug but he was way too small to do so. "If you leave now, the goblins will give me more paper work and I hate paper work."

Remus slumped back onto his chair with a heavy sigh. "I was just worried about Draco."

"He doesn't have money problems, I can ensure you that," Bill said. He grabbed Teddy tightly and stood up, putting him back into his pram. "Roger's quite young but he's good at what he does and he won't talk Malfoy into doing something stupid. Too nice for that."

"He didn't seem nice to me when he started yelling at Draco on the open street." Remus shifted his gaze away as Bill eyed him warily.

"Oh, wait… I think I finally see where you're going with this," Bill said, rocking Teddy's pram backwards and forwards. "But not even Malfoy's ultra-blond will keep Roger Davies away from women. Fleur told me he is quite a womanizer. So, you don't need to worry that he'll break poor Malfoy's heart." Bill remained silent for a while, before asking: "Is Malfoy gay?"

Now it was Remus' turn to gift Bill the wary look. "Why do you want to know this?"

"Because if he isn't you don't need to worry," Bill replied and rolled his eyes as Remus frowned at him. "I don't ask this because Fleur's getting fat and I need something more blond for my bed now. Don't worry." He laughed softly, watching Remus cowering with a guilty expression. Letting go of Teddy's pram, Bill sat down behind his desk. "Aren't you acting a little too protective, Remus?"

"You didn't see him," Remus said in a low voice, turning his head away to cover that his cheeks slowly filled with colour. "We've all been through a lot but some people can't cope with it as easily as others. I'm just scared that Draco chooses the wrong way again."

Bill looked at him disbelievingly. "Are you jealous?"

"What?" Remus chuckled amused. "Bill, he could be my son. I'm just worried."

Licking his lips, Bill fidgeted on his chair. "But you don't sound like… like a worried father." Remus swung his gaze away as Bill tried to look him directly into the eyes. "I don't think you should feel guilty if you i_are_/i attracted to him, Remus. I know that you always had a problem admitting this to yourself, but if you are in love it should be something that makes you happy. You deserve happiness. If you find happiness with Malfoy that's totally okay, you know?"

"I…" Remus sighed and shook his head, looking at his watch. "I have to go now, Bill. Draco and I have a date," he said extremely dramatically.

Bill waggled his eyebrows. "We'll talk about this on Sunday," he said, shaking Remus' hand with a grin that could compare to Teddy's in its hugeness. "I won't give you any peace."

"Then I have to rethink the invitation for tea," Remus said and winked at Bill, before rolling Teddy's pram out of Gringotts. There was still snow lying on the streets but it was not as slippery as a few weeks ago, and finally the Christmas decoration had disappeared in all shop windows.

Of course, Remus was not on the way to a romantic date with Draco. They had arranged to meet at the Leaky Cauldron – not even for lunch because Draco did not like the pea soup there. Draco had simply planned to take Teddy to the park while Remus had to work. Andromeda and Narcissa were busy renovating Teddy's room so that it was cosier and Teddy was not allowed to see his new furniture until everything was perfect.

How Remus wished his schedules would allow him to spend the afternoon with Teddy _and_ Draco. Almost like a real family…

Teddy sobbed suddenly. Remus leant over the pram and searched for the stuffed duck Teddy had lost in the masses of pillows and blankets. Just as he found the plush duck he heard familiar voices coming from the side street.

"Come on, Draco. You can't be mad at me forever." Remus turned his head and narrowed his eyes, making out a flash of white-blond hair in the darkness. He stepped a little closer and dragged Teddy's pram after him, silently begging that his son stayed quiet just for a little longer.

"I bloody well can," he heard Draco's voice saying. "Now, let me go. I'm already late." That was a lie, but Remus approved this because it meant that Draco did not want to be close to this horrible person, who had him pinned against the wall. "Don't you have work to do, Roger?"

The wide, malicious grin on Roger's face was as emetic as Remus remembered. "I got your letter."

Draco's cheeks filled with colour and were quickly shaken away before Roger could touch them. "I wrote a few letters you wouldn't like to read."

"But you sent this one," Roger said with more confidence than was healthy.

"I confused the envelopes," Draco said, sounding utterly embarrassed. He tilted his head away as Roger leant over to him, bringing his lips impudently close to Draco's. "I…"

Roger kissed Draco gently, whispering "I missed you," as he dragged the smaller body against his chest. Draco pushed against him as Roger deepened the kiss, making it disgustingly heady and unbearable to watch. Remus was glad as Draco tore his lips away.

"That's not changing anything," Draco breathed, eyes focusing on his hand that ran mindlessly over Roger's torso. "You can only say that you missed me in a dark side street."

"Who's always calling me 'banking business'? I can remember how ashamed you looked when we recently met your aunt." Roger tried to look into the grey eyes, but they were still trained on Roger's chest.

"Don't start this again. I can scarcely introduce you to my aunt before you've met my parents. And you don't want to meet my parents," Draco said, digging his fingers into Roger's robe.

Roger grabbed Draco's chin, lifting it up so that their eyes met. "Why is it so hard for you to accept that someone likes you?"

"Because," Draco took a deep breath, "it feels so dreamlike after someone at the Leaky Cauldron just hexed the cleaning bucket to empty over my head." Draco's voice was shaky and he muffled it with hiding his face in Roger's throat. The barely audible sobs shook Draco's entire body and he clung to Roger as if his life depended on it.

"Your hair still smells like lemon," Roger whispered. Draco pushed against him playfully, receiving a low chuckle for his half-hearted attempts to dislodge Roger.

"That's because their detergent is lemon scented." Draco wrapped his arms around Roger's neck, dragging himself up to reach the other lips. Remus turned away before they could kiss again. Shoving Teddy's pram forward, he kept his eyes focused on the Leaky Cauldron and ignored his shaking hands.

Remus was chagrined by the way he felt. He wanted to curse this arrogant bastard, although he made Draco happy. Of course, he wanted to protect Draco, wanted to see him happy, but the jealousy incited the wolf inside him to do something really stupid. Remus was not sure if he could stop himself from smashing Roger against a wall when he met him face to face.

Draco needed someone who protected him. He was so fragile and that bastard had made him cry, obviously not having a clue how insensitive he was. Remus knew that this was not the right one for Draco, and Draco probably thought something similar, otherwise he would not snog Roger in a dark side street. Yes, Draco was young. He just wanted to have some fun. Remus nodded to himself, slowly calming down. Draco just needed someone, who could distract him at the moment.

Draco would not need Roger anymore if he discovered that Remus could distract him way better…

"Remus!" Draco's voice held him back before he could enter the Leaky Cauldron. Draco was alone and he tried to explain his reddened cheeks with acting as if he had run the short distance. His mouth was kiss-bruised and looked even fuller, so seductive that Remus was just an inch away from wrapping his arms around him and satisfying his craving.

"Hello? Are you listening to me?" Draco leant closer and up to look Remus in the eye, coming too close. His scent was so intense, presumably because of his unsatisfied arousal.

Remus growled and Draco promptly moved away, blinking in surprise. "Sorry." Remus' voice was hoarser than usual and he had to clear his throat. "I was distracted."

"You growled at me. Like a _wolf_." Draco jerked his arm away when Remus tried to grab his shoulder. "Don't do that again. Ever." The jealousy crept back and painfully dug its way into Remus' heart when Draco spoke to him with this cold voice. "Is Ted ready?"

Remus nodded but pointed hopefully at the Leaky Cauldron. "Do you want to eat something first?"

Draco licked his swollen lips. "I don't like their pea soup."

"I'm sure they can come up with something different." Remus said, but Draco seemed uncertain. He looked at his watch and sighed, opening his mouth to surely reject Remus. "Or we can just go somewhere else."

"I thought you have to work," Draco said. It was clear that he did not want to stay with Remus when he grabbed the pram and pushed it forward.

"I still have some time." Remus followed Draco hastily. "And I can't work properly if you're angry with me." He gave Draco a pleading look, silently hoping that the young Malfoy could not resist someone's begging. But apparently he was mistaken.

"As you don't work on anything important, I don't think it matters," Draco replied and waved dismissively at Remus. "See you later."

Remus raised his hand but Draco had already turned around and walked away.

Another growl scratched in his throat. That was all the fault of that bastard. Remus balled his hands into fists, his fingernails digging painfully deep into his skin. The next time he saw Roger Davies, he would hurt him.


	9. Choking Confrontation

The next time came sooner than Remus had hoped. Draco was still acting weird towards him, like he had slowly realised that the wolf was always inside Remus and not only when the moon was full. But that the moon was nearly full at the moment increased Remus' anger when he found out that Draco had actually taken that bastard home with him.

Remus walked through the corridors of Malfoy Manor, deep in his thoughts. He tried to fight those feelings for Draco because they were not healthy for either of them. Draco was young and had gone through a lot. He needed the happiness of a new love and he seemed to have found this in Roger. But that did not silence the roaring jealousy.

Remus should not feel the urge to break every single bone in Roger's body, but the realisation of what that meant made the wolf almost as aggressive as during the full moon. He would have to see images of Roger holding Draco's hand, kissing the irresistible mouth, embracing the svelte body… and he could not bear such scenes.

Biting hard on his bottom lip, Remus stopped at the half landing and looked down at the two figures that stumbled through the door, shutting it behind them before falling backwards against the wall, engaged in a passionate kiss. Draco was the one that was slammed against the wall, but he did not complain about being treated like this. Instead he wrapped his arms around Roger's neck, one hand gripping black hair in tufts to pull them closer together.

It truly looked like pure passion… but the fire and ferocity of their movements only infuriated Remus. He was on the verge of storming down the stairs and punching right into Roger's face like a barbarian. But after all, he was still a wizard. He could give in to his jealousy and destroy the heat of this moment with a flick of his wand without offending Draco again.

Draco's sinful moan held him back. He froze at the words Draco breathed. Remus could hear every syllable that left Draco's luscious mouth before it was once again captured by Roger's. He did not like what he heard. It made his heart ache and his conscience too heavy for his shoulders.

Even his feet did not want to move anymore, which was particularly inappropriate because it made him feel like a pervert to stand in the shadows and watch how Roger lifted Draco's legs up to fasten them around his waist. But soon Remus felt nothing else than pain in his chest.

Tearing his gaze away, Remus walked up the stairs again, followed by noises he would never draw from Draco's lips. The realisation of just how insignificant his little crush was brought deep sadness. Remus had never thought that Draco would ever show a romantic interest in him, for that he was too old, too poor and too much wolf. Especially the last part was bothering Draco and Remus wanted to know why. As a friend, he might be able to help him and make him talk about his experiences with Greyback. He was definitely quite good at these things; otherwise his students would not have come to him when they wanted to talk in confidence. Draco needed a friend right now and not… not someone who wanted to destroy his newly found happiness.

Remus looked at his reflection in the window when he stopped in the corridor. He hated every line of anger in his face as much as the stinging burning in his eyes.

Draco had brought that bastard home. So it had to be something serious. Remus clenched his fists. He could not sit at the same table with a happy couple and two reunited sisters, having no one else than Teddy, who only spat his foot at him.

Maybe he should leave…

Remus went back to his room and as soon as he entered it the whole motivation to pack vanished. With a sigh, Remus slumped down on the edge of the bed. The creaking noise made him wince, his mind overflowing with pictures of what might be happening in Draco's room at the moment. If those two people made it to Draco's room and did not stay in the entrance hall.

Remus was painfully curious to go back and check, but on the other hand he wanted nothing more than sitting on this awfully soft bed with way too many pillows and listening to the tick tock of the clock. He let himself fall on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Maybe, if he had told Draco… Remus shook his head before it started hurting like his heart did. It was better if he got over this quickly. He should not have such feelings anyway, not until he had mourned Dora probably. And he felt like he had not… He felt guilty. Whenever he looked at Draco too long or caught himself smelling at his hair, he felt like he was cheating on Dora.

And Draco did not even want him. He was nothing more than a replacement for his father – probably. Remus did not really want to make a comparison between him and Lucius Malfoy. He was just old enough to be Draco's father, and the result was that Draco did not consider him as a love interest – probably.

Maybe…

Again, Remus shook his head, this time so vigorously that he really got a headache. He had to stop with those 'maybes' and get some sleep. Remus turned his head to look at the clock and he kept his eyes on the clock-hand for several minutes before he turned on his stomach, hoping to find peace in his dreams and not more pictures of that bastard pawing his Draco.

When he heard noises from behind, Remus raised his head again and shut his eyes tightly as the bright light of a new day gleamed right through his window, blinding him with such intensity that he thought he would never be able to see again.

"Are you going to stay in bed all day, Remus?" The melodic voice was like a catchy song and Remus wished he had the sound of his name on tape, so that he could listen to it over and over again.

Remus rolled onto his back and eyed Draco's lithe form up, mesmerised by the shaft of sunlight that highlighted the sensuous smile. Draco tilted his head and waited patiently for Remus to find the ability to speak again.

"It's hard to leave such a comfortable bed," Remus said, gulping hard when Draco moved closer. "That wasn't an invitation."

Draco sat down on the bed. "Are you sure?" With a smirk on his lips, Draco leant forward and reached out a hand. His splayed fingers skated over Remus' thigh and slipped under his shirt. "You want me here, don't you?" Draco's husky voice sent goose bumps blossoming over Remus' entire body.

Remus took a deep breath. "Yes," he admitted and closed his eyes because he could not take the sight of longing on Draco's delicate face. "Yes, please… Come here." Remus stretched out his arms and shortly afterwards he felt the warmth and weight of Draco's body pressing against his side. The smooth hair felt like expensive silk on his scrubby skin and Remus wished he had shaved before he scratched Draco with his stubbles.

"Why don't you tell me, Remus?" Draco pillowed his head on Remus' chest and snuggled close to him. "You don't have to be so shy. Just tell me how you feel and I can finally be with you."

"Do you want to?" Remus asked cautiously. A blond head rested in the crook of his neck and Remus stroked the velvet strands gently. He smiled when Draco nodded.

"It's what I've always wanted," Draco whispered hotly against Remus' throat, shoving his thigh in between Remus' legs and rubbing him with it. The pleasure spread through his body like poison and Remus suffered from the effects as soon as he opened his eyes and found himself all alone in his room.

If it were possible to die of shame he would already be with Dora again…

Remus stood up and headed for the door to Teddy's room, hoping to find distraction with his son, so that he could get rid of the thoughts of Draco that already invaded his mind again. But he stopped with his hand already on the doorknob, realising that he was painfully hard. He did not want to see his son in this state, so a cold shower was definitely in order.

Remus left his room and walked along the corridors, bumping straight into someone when he hurried around the corner. He wished it would have been Draco, but fate decided to send Roger Davies his way, who had obviously spent the night here, and Remus' fists appreciated this while his head told him to turn on his heels and hurry away.

"Oh, Professor Lupin!" Roger beamed at him, holding onto the wall for balance, while Remus stumbled backwards. His black hair was ruffled and he did not wear a shirt, so that he could show off his young, flawless body and the countless love bites. "I didn't see you coming. Huge house, isn't it? I think I'm lost…" He scratched his head and looked helplessly around, not noticing that Remus had balled his hands into fists.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked between clenched teeth.

Roger showed him this emetic smile that Remus hated so much. "You know…" After licking his lips in a disgusting way, Roger waggled his eyebrows in an even more disgusting way. "I'm with Draco. He definitely told you about me. As often as he talks about you…" Roger shook his head as if he did not want to talk about the really interesting things.

Remus' cold expression did not destroy Roger's good mood. "To tell the truth… No, he did not." His icy voice stayed unnoticed and Roger's smile was so bright that nobody could ignore it.

"He definitely will, after tonight." Roger whistled appreciatively. "The good thing about disagreements is the reconciliation, right? Merlin's pants, I'm such a lucky boy. I just need to find the way back to my Draco to… you know, continue." The dirty laughter was the final straw.

Remus reached out and grabbed Roger's shoulders, slamming him with full force against the wall. A gasp escaped Roger's throat and he struggled to dislodge Remus, eyes wide with shock.

"If you ever touch him again, I'll kill you," Remus growled. His hands were gliding to Roger's throat on their own and he had trouble to stop himself from suffocating that bastard. "Understood?"

Roger grabbed Remus' wrists. "Are you insane?" He shook his head in disbelief before Remus' fingers tightened around his throat.

"I don't want to see you here ever again. I don't want to see you with Draco again. You won't even _look _at Draco again. You got that?" Remus shoved Roger harshly against the wall, disgusted by the feel of his tanned skin beneath his fingers.

Roger coughed and tried hard to withdraw Remus' hands. "Let me go," he managed to say, barely audible, but it was enough to bring Remus back to his senses.

He backed away and stared at his hands in shock before looking back at Roger. Remus opened his mouth to apologise but Roger was running away faster than a hunted bunny. He seemed to be utterly frightened although Remus had trouble imagine that he of all people could be scary. Roger was just a coward. And Draco had to know that.

Remus nodded to himself and turned around, heading for Draco's room. He softly knocked against the slightly opened door but there was no answer. Soundlessly, Remus slipped into the room and smiled as he found Draco still asleep. The sheets were twisted and the blanket barely covered Draco's hips. He snuggled up to a pillow and moaned inarticulate words, blond hair falling over his closed eyes.

Well, if Roger wanted to leave this behind then Remus would not protest…

Remus looked around and found clothes spread all over the floor. He tried to shove the images of Draco hurriedly undressing out of his mind and grabbed the articles of clothing, all of them. He would give Draco's to the house-elves and Roger's… well, Roger did not need them anymore and Draco did not need to know that Roger had left them behind.

But before he left the room, Remus sat down on the edge of Draco's bed and watched him sleeping. The peaceful expression filled him with confusingly different feelings than watching Teddy sleep, although he brushed the hair out of Draco's face in the same way.

"Roger…" Draco smiled and turned his head to Remus' hand, which started shaking slightly. Remus pulled away and stood up, running away from his bad conscience.


	10. Pain and Punishment

"Draco, please! Open the door," Narcissa ordered for the fourth time, knocking against the door to Draco's room. But again there was no answer. Draco had not left his room for almost three days, barely touching the food the house-elves brought him. Whatever spell he had cast, it kept his mother, Andromeda and Remus locked out.

"Won't you at least talk to your mother, darling?" Andromeda called, rubbing Narcissa's shaking back. "There's no use in locking yourself up."

Remus cleared his throat. "Bill will be here in a minute," he said and gifted Narcissa a smile that she did not even notice because her eyes were focused on the door that kept her away from her son. "He can surely open the door as ex-Curse-Breaker."

"This is my fault," Narcissa said, her voice hoarse from calling her son for so long now. "I was so selfish these last months. I should've been there for him. I don't even know why he's in there now… Taffy said he's crying." She looked at Remus out of tear-filled blue eyes before shifting her gaze to her sister. "What if he's hurting himself?"

Andromeda shook her head. "The house-elves would tell you," she said, trying to calm Narcissa down. "They would definitely let you in if Draco was in danger. Instructions or not." Andromeda pulled Narcissa close and hugged her, not caring that her sister tensed in her arms.

"My fault," Narcissa repeated. "I didn't spend enough time with him. It's not only hard for me that Lucius is gone. But Draco… I thought he could cope with it. He seemed okay…" She freed herself from Andromeda's grip and embraced herself, turning her back to Remus and her sister. "The last weeks he even seemed happy." She peered over her shoulder at Remus, frowning slightly. "He talked more to you than to me. Maybe he'll open the door if you knock, Remus Lupin." The bitterness in her voice embarrassed Remus and he looked away from the now so cold blue eyes.

"Cissa, this is definitely not Remus' fault!" Andromeda shook her head disapprovingly at which her sister snorted. Of course, they could not know that this was in all probability Remus' fault. He had scared Roger away and since then Draco did not leave his room. It would be stupid to think that he had nothing to do with it. And he did feel bad. But he did not regret it. Not until now…

"I didn't say that," Narcissa told Andromeda as if Remus was not standing right in front of her. "I just thought that maybe Remus might be able to talk to him after he literally clung to my son during the last weeks."

"Narcissa, what are you trying to say?" Andromeda looked at her full of shocked and took a step back when Narcissa let out a high-pitched laughter.

"Oh, as if you hadn't notice how he looks at my son." Narcissa gave Remus a reproachful look. "I thought you were old enough to control your feelings, but apparently… What have you done to him?"

Remus shook his head. "I never touched him."

Andromeda whirled around. "You aren't denying that you are… Remus!" She let out a heavy sigh. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"And what exactly? That I'm a pervy old man?" Remus reached out to touch Narcissa's shoulder but she jerked away – just like Draco always did. "I never wanted this to happen. And I never did more than look at him. I know it's not right."

Narcissa scowled at him. "Not right? Oh, Remus Lupin, I never thought you could be such a bastard. Just because my son was forced to work for the Dark Lord, you can't like him. He was a child and made mistakes. And because of this he's not worth your oh so precious affection? What is this for a horrible game you're playing with my son?"

"Remus is the last man in the world who would play games with your son," Andromeda blurted out and poked Narcissa against the forehead. "What are you thinking?"

"I am just worried! My son has locked himself up in his room for far too long!" Narcissa rubbed her forehead, flashing Remus a short look that was still very reproachful. "Every time we talked it was just about you and Teddy. I don't want you with my son, but I want Draco to be happy. And he seems to be with you."

"It's not like you think," Remus said, raising his hands in defence and blushing deeply.

Narcissa raised her eyebrow sceptically. "Whatever it is, I think you have more reasons to comfort him than I have." Before Remus could tell Narcissa that she was most likely just scared that she and her son had grown apart from each other, a house-elf appeared next to his mistress. "Oh, look. Your key service is here. It's about time." Narcissa waved at the house-elf before the poor creature could even open its mouth. "Get him here." When the house-elf was gone, Narcissa folded her arms defensively in front of her chest, turning away from Remus and focusing her eyes stubbornly on Draco's door. "You're going to talk to him."

"I'd rather not…" Remus did not finish his sentence because of the deadly glance he received from Draco's mother. He took a deep breath. "I'll talk to him. But not about that topic." Remus was glad that Bill came down the corridor before Narcissa could disagree or whatever she wanted to do with her mouth already open.

"So, where do we have our little problem?" Bill greeted Andromeda with a pat on her shoulder, waved at Remus and offered Narcissa a polite smile.

"Thank you for coming, Bill," Remus said, pointing at Draco's door. "I owe you one."

Bill shrugged that off and pulled out his wand, shoving it straight into the key hole. "I'll always play the knight in shining armour for a blond princess." His wand vibrated for a few second. Pulling it out again, Bill scratched his temple and finally cleared his throat before putting the tip of his wand back into the key hole. Tiny bolts crackled from the wood to the metal, and with a sudden noise the door creaked open. Bill flashed Remus a short smile and put his wand away. "Nothing against ancient Egypt spells, of course. I miss that… Do you have some more things that won't open, Mrs. Malfoy?"

Narcissa raised her eyebrows in blank astonishment.

"You shouldn't sneak around here, Bill. Honestly. Creepy stuff," Andromeda said, quite obviously ignored Narcissa's shocked expression when she examined her fingernails. "Want me to show you around?"

"Oh, I can never say 'No' to you, Andromeda," Bill said and offered his arm so that Andromeda could lead the way.

"Andromeda, you can't…" Narcissa shook her head and turned to Remus. "What a ruthless young man," she snapped and nodded towards the door. "What are you waiting for? I'm right behind you."

Remus gulped hard because of this obvious way to find out if this was his fault. Narcissa wanted to see Draco's reactions towards him and was hoping to find out if Remus was able to tame the hungry wolf inside him. Until now he was… well, at least when it came to Draco. Roger Davies might say different things about the normally gentle Remus.

With Narcissa one step behind him, Remus had a bad feeling when he entered Draco's room, which was completely soaked in darkness. The curtains did not let any light through until Remus ripped them open and received a deep moan from the person that now slipped under his blankets, turning into a huge clump of fabric.

"Draco, love?" Narcissa's attention was no longer with Remus and she had only eyes for Draco. She sat down next to her son and patted him through the blanket. "I was worried."

Draco mumbled something. Remus could not understand it from his position next to the window.

"I won't go away until you told me what's wrong with you," Narcissa said in a calm voice.

Listening closely, Remus thought he could hear something like "none of your business", and those words made Narcissa look guilty.

"You don't want to talk to me?" Her voice was so soft that Remus doubted Draco could understand her properly, but he seemed to be wrong because Draco's reply came almost immediately:

"Apparently."

Narcissa blinked hastily, shame and pain visible on her face when she turned to look at Remus, silently suffering because of Draco's rejection. She stroked one last time over Draco's back and stood up, opening her mouth to say something but then changed her mind and left without another word. Not even an order for Remus to stay and take care of her son.

"Draco…" Remus sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of Draco's bed, placing a hand on the warm body hidden underneath the blankets. "Are you going to stay in bed all day again?"

"Obviously," came the answer, drowned by the several layers of blankets.

Remus grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it slowly down, exposing Draco's ruffled hair. "Tell me what's wrong," he demanded but Draco just pressed his face into his pillow and made some strange noises. "Draco, I'm not going to leave until you tell me what's bothering you."

"How did you come in?" Draco asked, his voice hoarse and unused.

"I asked a friend of mine and he opened the door for us. There's nothing wrong with asking for help," Remus said and reached for Draco's shoulder, rolling him onto his back only to catch his breath. Draco looked like he had not even slept the last days but had spent his nights and days with crying his eyes bloody. The veins on the white of his eyes looked like deep cuts, overflowed with tears that had left visible traces on Draco's pale cheeks.

"Friends, eh?" Draco laughed low in his throat and shook his head. "Friends will never come to help you."

"Am I not here?" Remus grabbed Draco's chin before the boy could look away. "You called me your friend. Empty words?"

"Words… are worth nothing…" Draco closed his eyes and tried to pull the blanket back over his head but Remus retrieved the fabric. "Leave me alone, Remus. I'm not in the mood for this. Comfort a pillow if you need it so badly."

"Won't you tell me what's happened?" Remus asked once again, still waiting patiently for Draco to sit up, but he did not expect that it would happen so soon. A blink later Draco's face was barely an inch from his away, but his expression was too furious to really think about the barely existing distance.

"The person I thought I liked is killing me with his empty words. That's what is happening. I trusted him. I gave him _everything_." Draco made a weak attempt to throw Remus off his bed, slamming his fists against Remus' chest. "And he just left." His fists hurt more than Remus thought they could, and Draco seemed to like using him as a punching ball. "Like everyone else." What hurt even more than Draco's fists hitting his chest, was the sight of Draco close to tears again. To prevent himself from sobbing, Draco bit so hard on his lower lip that the chapped skin burst open and soon small drops of blood appeared.

Remus reached out and wiped the blood away, enclosing Draco's chin and grabbing his wrist with the other hand so that he stopped hitting him. "I'm here, Draco, your mother and aunt are both worried and Teddy is slowly becoming depressed because he hasn't seen you for a while." He smiled gently when Draco sniffed and blinked the tears away. "You don't need Roger, okay?"

Draco backed away and Remus immediately let go off the thin wrist, although he already missed the feeling of Draco's pulse beating against his fingers. "You… Where did you… what…" Draco shook his head. "How do you know about him?"

Clearing his throat, Remus shifted his gaze towards the photos of Draco's friends. Well, probably not his friends anymore, because Remus had not seen one of them since he lived here. But that did not mean that Draco and his friends never saw each other these days. Remus had not even realised that Draco had something like a relationship, so he might be as uninformed when it came to his friends.

"Uhm…" Remus took a deep breath before he looked back at Draco. "I'm not stupid. Banking business isn't as good a code word as you might have thought. Besides Roger works with Bill Weasley… who is… uhm, here at the moment, if you want to say 'Hello' or insult him because of his earring, his hair, whatever cheers you up."

Draco stared at him in shock, obviously not caring about controlling his emotions at the moment. "He spread that around?" Dragging his blanket up to his chin, Draco blushed with embarrassment. "Such a bastard…"

"Draco, no…" Remus shook his head, patting Draco's knee that was pulled up to his chest. "It's just… I heard that Roger was into blonds and then this stuff with the… banking business."

"Oh, and that makes everything so clear? Just say it if I'm acting like a stupid fag!" Draco pulled the blanket over his head and jerked his legs away from Remus' hands.

"Well… Draco, you made these equivocal comments. I know you just joked around but normal boys don't really make this kind of jokes…" Remus noticed that he was not saying the things Draco wanted to hear right now, but it was hard to think straight with him around, so he ended up making everything even worse.

"There! You said it… I'm not normal." Draco moved under the blanket, coming to lie on the mattress and rolling into a small ball. "It's disgusting… Salazar, if my parents find out… If Father knew that I cried because of a guy… Don't tell Mother, please. She'll continue ignoring me."

"Oh, come on… You're not the type of guy who struggles with his sexuality, Draco." Remus tore the blanket irretrievably away. "You're wallowing in self-pity. Again."

Draco stayed curled up, clinging to his pillow. "Then just leave me," he sniffed.

"No, definitely not. And you shouldn't push me away, because you don't have many people who will come to you anymore. That's a fact, Draco," Remus said a bit harshly but Draco did not even flinch. "But that doesn't mean that everyone wishes you were dead, or something like that."

"A few people might," Draco muttered, pulling his pillow into his lap when he sat up. "But… Roger said something similar about my annoying addiction to self-pity…"

Remus smiled encouragingly, although deep in his heart he hoped that Draco would not tell him how awesome that bastard was.

"But he also said he wouldn't leave me and now he's obviously not here." Draco laughed hoarsely and not at all amused. He wiped new tears away with the back of his hand, avoiding Remus' eyes.

"You really like him, right?" The guilt formed a knot in Remus' throat that he unsuccessfully tried to swallow, and he thought that he was going to throw up when Draco nodded.

"But don't tell anyone," Draco said, cheeks gleaming in pink. "I know it was wrong to get emotionally involved these days. They all think that they can play games with me and I'm stupid enough to believe them." He ran a hand through his ruffled hair, noticing the mess and trying to comb it with his fingers. "I finally know why women think that all men are arseholes."

"Not every woman thinks that," Remus said, pulled Draco's hands away and moved closer on the pretext of fixing the blond strands.

Draco still showed him a glance of suspicious. "He left me," Draco hissed. "We fucked and he left me. That's so bloody clichéd."

Remus' stomach turned upside down because of Draco's words. Well, because of one word he would not allow Draco to say in front of Teddy. Apparently, Draco seemed to feel a little awkward now, most likely thinking that old Remus received Teddy from an owl that got the wrong window and could not cope with the F-word.

"Was it your first time?" Remus asked sympathetically, but Draco gifted him an astounded look.

"What? No! I'm eighteen!" Draco hugged himself, manifestly feeling uncomfortable. "I used to be a little more popular back in school than I am now, you know?"

"Oh…" Remus' tone made Draco roll his eyes.

"But I wasn't… fooling around either," Draco explained and shrugged. "I even had a girlfriend for quite a while. But… it's just that you hardly find boys who're interested in boys at Hogwarts. Roger was there at the right time, back then and now."

Remus frowned slightly. "You met him in school?"

"He was two years above me, and well, I think I've had a crush on him since I saw him in his Dress Robes at the Yule Ball. You could easily overlook the boy at Fleur Delacour's side, yes. But not if you weren't interested in the girl," Draco said while kneading his pillow, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "He always had a thing for blond hair. After Delacour went back to France and forgot about him, my hair caught his attention. It's way prettier, anyway… We sometimes met after Quidditch practise. He was captain, you know? Very cool and popular, but just well-liked by girls, if you know what I mean."

"He took advantage of your curiosity," Remus said, wondering why he had not broken Roger's bones when he had the opportunity.

Draco laughed softly. "I think it was more the other way round. You know… I stumbled into the wrong showers and just thought: make the best of it. So, I throw one of the oddest pick-up lines at him, something like 'you missed a spot there', but it worked. It got me a lot of secret kisses and unskilful fumbling during my fifth year." Once again, he chuckled before showing Remus that sorrowful expression that did not suit him at all.

"I didn't know that," Remus said and reached for Draco's hand, squeezing it lightly.

Draco shrugged. "Of course not," he mumbled and licked his chapped lips, flinching slightly when he noticed the small wounds. "He was there for me… I really thought he'd be serious about us. I mean, no one else would've sat down next to me in a bar, nobody else cared when children threw their stupid snowballs at me or… He didn't just ignore the people insulting me in the streets but he made them stop. He defended me. And all the time I was just worried that the people might call me a fag soon, so I pushed him away in public."

For a moment, Remus questioned his decision to always tell Draco just to ignore the nasty comments. Whenever they had taken a walk together with Teddy, Remus had never openly defended Draco, fearing that it might be embarrassing, but apparently Draco needed someone who was not scared to jump protectively in front of him.

"It's not your fault." Remus stroked Draco's pale hand, admiring the soft skin and still hoping that his gesture seemed only comforting.

"It is," Draco said. "And this is my punishment." Oh, that was so not what Remus wanted to hear, while he sat with Draco on a bed holding his hand.

"Do you love him?" He seemed to search for punishment himself, otherwise he would not make Draco break his heart. The grey eyes said everything and Draco did not even have to breathe a 'Yes' to confront Remus with the seriousness of his precipitate actions.

"It doesn't matter," Draco whispered. "Whatever it was it's over." He smiled at Remus, although full of melancholy. "But I'm glad that I'm not alone anymore." Biting his lip, Draco looked at their hands before he moved closer. Remus stiffened when Draco leant against him, but after a short moment he relaxed and wrapped his arm around Draco's back, holding him close.

The scent of Draco's hair… he had missed it so much. Remus turned his head slightly, feeling so perfectly comfortable that he almost forgot whose fault Draco's tears were. The hot wetness that dripped on Remus' neck shoved him roughly back into reality.

"His kisses," Draco said shakily. "His kisses felt like tornadoes, destroying all your protective walls and sweeping you off your feet. I felt like I could do anything when he kissed me. I felt like I was the wind."

Remus turned his head and stared at Draco, who sneered. "The wind?"

"I don't know why I'm saying this. It makes no sense." Draco's nose nearly brushed against Remus' chin as he lifted his head slightly to look at him.

"You are as restless as the wind," Remus said in a low voice because Draco was so close. "But the wind will never know where to come to rest. Neither can the wind decide what to be. One day it's a soft and warm breeze and then it forms into a mighty storm."

"Soft and warm, hmm?" Thin arms came around Remus, and Draco really seemed to enjoy the warmth of the other body, snuggling closer until Remus could not see an inch of space between them anymore. "He wouldn't have left, then. I'll never find someone again with my reputation and Roger only came to me because of the old times. I'll end up paying for the illusion of love."

Remus grabbed Draco's chin and lifted it up. "No, you don't have to," he said and smiled when Draco looked at him, frowning in confusion. "You're such a handsome, intelligent young man and whoever doesn't want to see that is a bloody idiot."

Draco's cheeks flushed slightly and he shifted his gaze downward, undecided if he should look Remus into the eyes or stare straight at his mouth. He licked his full lips when his eyes met Remus' again and moved a little closer, their noses almost touching.

"You think so?" Draco brushed his lips against Remus' mouth before the other man could even nod. Immediately, Remus withdrew, staring at Draco in shock and then cursing himself for not taking advantage of this opportunity to finally get what he wanted for so long. But on the other hand, he should not mess things even more up because he could never enjoy a relationship with Draco that started with an unforgivable mistake.

"Oh…" Draco moved backwards and pulled the blanket up to his chin, looking embarrassed. "I thought… I don't… well, uhm… so-sorry…"

"You don't need to apologise," Remus said, blushing deeply himself. He pressed his lips to a firm line, still tasting Draco on his mouth although the kiss had not even lasted long enough to be called kiss.

Draco shook his head. "I just thought… Back then in the kitchen I thought you…" Never finishing his sentence, Draco turned his back to Remus and hung his head in shame. "You were married… have a child, of course you don't like men. Can you just forget this and take my current state as an excuse?"

"I already said that you don't need to apologise, Draco," Remus said and reached out to knead Draco's shoulders until he relaxed a little. "I understand that you're confused right now." And how he wished he could give Draco the courtesy of a simple human touch but that would just make him feel even worse. "But I think locking yourself away from the rest of the world won't make anything better. Please, come down and have dinner with us."

Draco took a deep breath, before whispering: "For what?"

"For me," Remus said and thought that Draco shuddered as warm breath teased the back of his neck, so he could not resist leaning closer and whispering in Draco's ear. "Please…"

Pulling away from Remus, Draco buried his face in his hands and shook his head.

"Draco, you owe me something," Remus said, almost pleadingly. "I moved in here to help you and not to watch you… suffering."

Draco raised a hand. "I'm fine… It's not like I didn't eat or sleep. At the moment I just want to be alone… just a little longer until I can think straight again. We don't know if I might throw myself at the Weasley just because he's there."

"I don't have a good feeling about leaving you alone," Remus admitted.

Draco turned his head over his shoulder and shook his head slightly. "I'm not alone. You came for me."

Remus tilted his head in confusion, watching Draco reaching for his hand but never taking it because he seemed to feel uncomfortable touching him now.

"You already helped me, Remus. Your way of life… I hold it in veneration. You risked your life in two wars, lost so many people and still you continue… Seeing that has made me feel more guilt and it makes me think…" Draco tapped against his temple. "Am I allowed to lock myself up after all the mistakes I made? Am I doing injustice to all who died by thinking my life would be unpleasant? Or am I going to make at least one person happy when I never leave this house again…"

"Don't –"

"I think I've thought long enough," Draco interrupted, his lips curling up until they bore some resemblance to a smile. "It's time to make a decision. But I can't do this with my mind all fogged up. I need to be alone. Please understand this, Remus." Draco chuckled softly. "I don't want to be the wind. I want to be Draco Malfoy." He sighed heavily and dropped his head again. "It's just… since Roger's gone I don't have a single clue who Draco Malfoy is."

Remus nodded, trying to swallow the guilt that knotted his throat. "Sure, but…" He shook his head before Draco could do so to cut him short. "But leave your door unlocked, okay?"

Draco cocked his eyebrow. "So that the bad wolf can sneak into my room?"

Remus' eyes widened slightly but when Draco started laughing he sighed with relief. "You little tease," he said and reached out to ruffle Draco's hair before he stood up. "You call if you need anything, right?"

"Very loudly and dramatically," Draco said with a nod and waved at Remus before disappearing underneath his blanket again.

Remus closed Draco's door behind him and leant against the wall next to it, one step away from slamming the back of his head against it. What had he done? Why had he destroyed Draco's happiness if he could not take advantage of his misery afterwards? He needed to fix this or he could never look into the mirror again.

He headed for the entrance hall, hoping that Narcissa had not scared Bill away yet, but apparently they seemed to be having a rather good time – well, or Andromeda and Bill had a good time while Narcissa plaited Teddy's hair, which had grown and looked more like Lucius' right now, although there were some light red strands in the mass of blond hair. That Narcissa used pink ribbons to tie Teddy's hair together startled Remus for a moment, but then he cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Where's Draco?" Narcissa immediately rose to her feet and folded her hands.

"Uhm, he's fine, but wants to be alone for a while," Remus said, washing all hope off Narcissa's face and creating an expression of disappointment. "He won't lock the door again." That seemed to bring Narcissa some relief but she did not seem as motivated when she continued to play with Teddy's hair. "Bill, do you have a second?"

"Sure!" Bill winked at Andromeda before following Remus out of the room. "So, what's wrong with our princess?"

Remus scratched the back of his head and avoided Bill's eyes, focusing his gaze on a painting on the wall. "You told me that you work with Roger Davies, right?" Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Bill's nod. "Can you tell me where I'll find him?" He turned to face Bill, who frowned at him.

"Roger has taken a couple of days off," Bill said and shrugged. "Either you'll find him in his flat or in Hawaii and I guess the latter will be your second choice to search."


	11. Finished For Now

His hands were cold and rubbing them warm was effortless, but it kept Remus busy as long as he struggled with knocking on the door of Roger's apartment. It was not shabby but still nothing Draco would find worthy for himself, so Remus thought for a second that the two did not make a good couple at all and he should just leave to take care of Draco himself.

But then again, the determination to help Draco was worth nothing without the strength to actually do so and Remus already knew that he lacked the latter. So, eventually, he knocked on Roger's door and waited for an answer, but nobody opened for him. Pressing his ear to the wood, Remus heard some rumbling noises inside and that made him knock once more.

"Roger? Roger, this is Remus Lupin. Could you please open the door?" He knocked again, harsher this time. "We need to talk." When the door was opened Remus nearly slammed his knuckles against Roger's chest.

"What do you want, Lupin?" Roger looked pale and was unshaved, his black hair ruffled like he had spent the entire day in bed. His eyes had lost their cerulean blue colour that used to be so mesmerising, darting down to Remus' fist that was about to hit his chest. "So, are you here to kill me, Mr. Lupin? Although I let your precious Draco alone?"

Remus sighed and lifted his hand to rub his forehead. "Please forgive me for my inappropriate behaviour. I am… a little overprotective when it comes to Draco."

"Overprotective?" Roger eyed him up, his expression full of suspicion. "You're not Draco's father. You have no right –"

"Yes, but…" Remus regretted that he had interrupted Roger as the words died on his tongue. He took a deep breath and tried not to lose his courage because of Roger's visible aversion. "I know it's not excusable what I've done and said, but this is not why I'm here. Draco needs you. Be a man and show him that you're capable of more than just running away because of the slightest hindrance."

Roger's blue eyes lit up with pure anger. He reached out and grabbed Remus' collar, slamming him with full force against the doorframe. "How dare you?" He pushed Remus up against the wall, coming so close to his face that Remus could smell the hint of alcohol. "Do you know what he thinks about you? Do you have a clue how much he respects you?"

Remus gulped hard, having trouble breathing properly.

"If you don't like me, then he'll have even more doubts. I'm intelligent enough to know that I'll lose sooner or later when you work against me," Roger hissed and narrowed his eyes slightly. "And now you suddenly changed your mind? Yeah, sure." His sarcasm was sharp as a knife and Remus turned his head away, hurt by the words and the look Roger gave him.

"You spend too much time with Slytherins," Remus said, barely audible. "I'm a Gryffindor. I was carried away by my emotions and now I try to make up for my mistake. Don't I deserve a second chance?"

"I don't care about you, Lupin. You never gave me even one chance. You couldn't even remember my name," Roger said, letting go off Remus with a growl. He turned around and wanted to slam his door shut behind him, but Remus stopped it with his feet and Roger just went ahead, heading for his couch.

Remus entered the apartment without permission, feeling uncomfortable when he looked around so he focused his gaze soon on Roger, who had sat down on his couch and stared at the ground.

"I wonder… if maybe you were afraid," Remus said, stopping on the spot when Roger looked up to him. "Otherwise you wouldn't have given up that easily just because of my words. You might've been wondering if Draco was worth the trouble. Because of his reputation and his mental state. You –"

"Don't tell me what you think I was thinking," Roger fired back, already up on his feet again. "Maybe I wanted to know if Draco actually thinks that I'm a bastard, who just disappears in the morning. Maybe I waited for him to finally make a bloody move. But he didn't. Instead his personal watch wolf shows up on my doorstep and annoys me with some pathetic speeches about love and friendship and what do I know."

"I know –"

Roger cut him short with a sharp movement of his hand. "I know that you don't know anything about Draco and me."

Taking a deep breath, Remus started massaging his temple again. "I know that, too," he admitted and shifted his gaze towards the window, watching big, fluffy clouds floating over the blue sky. "Had I known how much you mean to him… You're very important to him, Roger."

"Did he…" Roger ran a hand through his hair and seemed to relax a little. "Did he say that?"

"Kind of… He misses you so much that he's about to break. Otherwise I wouldn't be here," Remus forced a smile, but Roger did not look at him and it was better this way because never had his smile felt more foreign. Apparently, one could even hear how hard it was for Remus to admit these things.

"You're jealous," Roger said and looked Remus in the eyes, nodding to himself. "Do you know how close he is to falling for you? A part of him might already be."

Remus did not want to hear that and shook his head to get the thoughts of Draco snuggling close to him out off his mind.

"You just have to tell him how you feel and he'll stop missing me soon," Roger hissed full of jealousy himself, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his thighs. "Why don't you take what you want so desperately?"

Remus' whole body tensed and he felt a blush creeping up onto his cheeks. "And then?" He suddenly felt utterly weak and wanted to sit down but he doubted that Roger would offer him a seat. "I'm thirty-eight years old; I could be his father. I _am_ a father. Draco… Draco deserves better."

"Since when am I better than a…" Roger paused and swallowed whatever he had wanted to throw at Remus, remaining silent.

"Draco's eighteen. He's not ready for the responsibility I…" Remus shook his head again not wanting to think about why he should not be with Draco. "I don't want to explain myself anymore. If you don't care about him anymore then –"

"I never stopped caring," Roger snapped. "I just wanted what is best for him."

"Me too," Remus replied, holding Roger's gaze for a moment before he trained his eyes on the table in front of the couch. "And I came to the conclusion that you are the best for him."

Roger's lips curled into a smile that would have been washed away if he could hear the nasty voice in the back of Remus' mind that did not stop whispering:

"_For now__…"_It needed a lot of time for Remus to bring Roger to Malfoy Manor, because the boy was not totally sober at first and needed to wash and shave, then could not decide what he should wear and nearly left home without putting on a pair of trousers. And when they finally arrived, Remus had to make sure that Narcissa and Andromeda did not notice the visitor, because that would cause way too many questions right now.

* * *

They hurried up the stairs and to Draco's room, where Remus wanted to leave Roger alone but he was called back before he could hide behind the next corner. Strangely, Draco's room was empty but he had not been with his mother when Remus peered into the living room, so he had to be somewhere in this huge house. Finding him had just become a difficult task.

Remus sighed in desperation and Roger rolled his eyes.

"The house-elves might know where their master is," he muttered full of sarcasm what made Remus sigh again but just because he was close to throwing that cheeky bastard out again.

"Taffy?" With a soft noise the house-elf appeared next to Remus and looked up to him with big eyes. "Could you tell me where Draco is?"

"Master is taking care of young Teddy," the elf squeaked and gazed at Roger, opening its mouth and closing it wordlessly. On the verge of saying something to the apparently not foreign visitor, the elf scuffed its feet over the ground, clinging to the blanket it was wearing.

As it did not say anything, Remus broke the silence: "Thank you. We can find the way." He smiled at the elf before turning around. "Come on, Roger." He motioned the younger man to follow him and tried to ignore the rolling eyes. He had messed this up and the hatred of an arrogant bastard was the most bearable punishment, so Remus really hoped that Roger would keep rolling his eyes instead of telling Draco right away that everything was Remus' fault. Roger had the right to do that but Remus remembered Bill saying that Roger was actually a nice guy so maybe there was a chance that it was revenge enough for him to hold Draco's hand in front of Remus' eyes.

"This door," Remus said when they reached Teddy's room. He watched Roger reaching for the door handle and suddenly felt like he needed the bathroom. Pressing a hand against his stomach he turned his back to Roger and took a few deep breathes until he heard Roger clearing his throat.

"Draco?" Roger entered the room and did not close the door as though he _wanted_ Remus to watch them. He peered cautiously into the room and was somehow still hoping that Draco might notice him, instead of focusing his eyes immediately on Roger.

Teddy had noticed him, waving wildly when Draco sat him back into the playpen. Remus waved back before he focused his attention on the uncomfortable silence between Roger and Draco, until the latter found his voice again.

"What are you doing here, Roger?" Draco asked and folded his arms in defence, but Remus could see that Draco's fingers were shaking slightly.

"I… I came to… apologise…" Roger's eyes flickered to Remus, who immediately hid behind the door, silently begging that Roger would not blame him now.

"Oh, really?" Draco, obviously not in the mood for a typical snarky reply, was uncommonly sparing with words.

"Yeah, I shouldn't have left, but… You know, I… I got scared," Roger said and Remus let out a sigh of relief. "Please, listen!"

Remus gazed back into the room where Draco had just turned around to leave, Roger now grabbing his arm. How he wished Draco would jerk his arm away like he normally did when Remus tried to touch him, but Roger successfully pulled him closer, and the soft expression on Draco's face before he turned to Roger already ensured that he had forgiven him. He really had to be in love if just Roger's appearance sufficed as an apology. After all, Draco Malfoy thrived on making people crawl back to him, begging for forgiveness.

"Please, Draco. You got scared so often and I always accepted your apologies," Roger said in a soft and supple voice that did not suit him at all. "I won't run away again, promise."

Draco pressed a hand against his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair before he looked back at Roger. "Let me guess… Lupin played the Good Samaritan again and thought it was a good idea to describe my misery to you." That Draco used his last name hurt but not as much as the realisation that he had been so close to holding Draco in his arms. "And did you use that opportunity to tell him about my little crush so that I'll lose the only real friend I still have?" Okay, the emphasis on crush was a hint that Roger had probably teased Draco about spending so much time with Remus, but after everything that had happened between them, Remus was sure that Roger was right when he said that Draco had feelings for him. And maybe it was not right to ignore his chances. Maybe he should go into this room and tell Draco that they belonged together. Maybe…

"I love you, Draco." Maybe he should have said that before Roger did. "I know you probably don't believe me and that you won't forgive me, but I'm sorry. Oh, and you look cute with that baby…"

Draco chuckled softly and then suddenly flung his arms around Roger. The picture of their embrace hurt Remus mentally and physically, but it seemed to make Teddy really happy, who clapped his hands and gurgled as though he wanted to say something. Remus was glad he was still not able to say more than single syllables.

"As pathetic as it sounds," Draco said between the kisses he pressed to Roger's lips, "I'm just glad that you're here. That's all that matters…" When Roger smiled and attempted to return Draco's kisses, Remus cleared his throat, making Draco jump away from Roger and smooth his robes.

"I don't want to interrupt your reconciliation but I'd prefer it not to happen in front of my son," Remus said and gifted both men a smile before stepping between them and leaning down to pull his son into his arms. Just at the right moment he turned around to see Draco's mouth forming the words "Thank you" before he headed out of the door.

Remus sighed. "Thank you," he muttered when Roger brushed against his shoulder.

"I did it for Draco," Roger said, reaching for the door. "He doesn't deserve another disappointment." He closed the door without glancing at Remus, who pressed Teddy tightly against him.

Tears prickled in his eyes and he blinked hastily to get rid of them, but eventually they rolled over his cheeks and Teddy wiped them off his chin before they could fall to the ground. Putting his tiny thumb into his mouth, Teddy erased the salty tears of his father without knowing how bitter they would taste.

"Someday…" Remus brushed the white-blond strands out of Teddy's eyes. "Someday he might be ready for a little family. You would like that, wouldn't you, Teddy?" Teddy beamed widely and chortled, still sucking on his thumb. "We give him time until he's ready to find his place."

Until then he still was as unstable as the wind…


End file.
